Okay, Bro Code. Here I go.
OBLIGATORY:
ARTICLE 1
Bros before hos.
The bond between two men is stronger than a bond between a man and a woman because, on average, men are stronger than women. That's just science.
ARTICLE 2
A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.
NOTE: Had Butch Cassidy come charging out of that cabin alone, people would have been like, "Dude, come on." If only one Spanish dude had decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would've been like, "Dude, come on." If only Tommy Lee had worn eyeliner in the early days of Motley Crue, people would have been like, "Lady, come on." The lisence to be stupid is why we have Bros in the first place.
ARTICLE 10
A Bro will drop whatever he's doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.
It's normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he's worried she'll become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to have sex with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean, and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful, or even time-consuming.
SIDE-BRO: HOW TO DUMP A CHICK IN SIX WORDS OR LESS
"Maybe try a side salad instead."
"Cute! You're growing a mustache, too!"
"She looks like a younger you."
"I will finance a boob job."
"Sorry I threw out your shoes."
"Your sister let me do that."
"Maybe try a side salad instead."
"Cute! You're growing a mustache, too!"
"She looks like a younger you."
"I will finance a boob job."
"Sorry I threw out your shoes."
"Your sister let me do that."
ARTICLE 12
Bros do not share dessert.
ARTICLE 13
All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.
ARTICLE 14
If a chick inquires about another Bro's sexual history, a Bro shall honor the Brode of Silence and play dumb. Better to have women think all men are stupid than to tell the truth.
ARTICLE 15
A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.
ARTICLE 19
A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro shall not get angry if another Bro says, "Dude, your sister's hot!"
COROLLARY: It's probably best for everyone if Bros just hide pictures of their sisters when other Bros are coming over.
ARTICLE 23
When flipping through TV channels with his Bros, a Bro is not allowed to skip past a program featuring boobs. This includes, but is not limited to, exercise shows, women's athletics, and on some occasions, surgery programs.
ARTICLE 29
If two Bros decide to catch a movie together, they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40pm. Also, despite the cost savings, they shall not split a tub of popcorn, choosing instead to procure individual bags.
ARTICLE 31
When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know.
There are so many more but if I keep going I'll get carried away LMFAO
