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So I am just going to make a ton of pointless journal entries because I'm bored(obviously) and I also am very hungry but am getting B vitamin tested right now...so I can't eat or touch anything with B vitamins in it. Hmm...that's a lot of things.

But I basically went to bed earlier, got some sleep, and woke up at 2. "Monitor" shopped for an hour, watched Office Space heart , got on Gaia, did random crap, and here I am now. Hungry. Not tired. Reflecting some. But mostly hungry. About the only thing I can eat without a hassle is French Fries which isn't bad but...I don't really want to make them right now (hello! It's 5!) so...yeah...

So maybe I'll type a summary about my life. Or discuss what's on my mind for complete strangers to read if they are browsing and come across this journal entry. Maybe I'll talk about my love life or how things are at work. Maybe I'll talk about rough times I'm going through and how I'm the most pitiful and sad person on Earth poor me poor me. Oh! I could explain the last couple of sentences and how my mind is just tossing randomness through my fingers onto the keys which type this very sentence and how I am going to probably begin making a mockery of those who believe they are more important than anyone in the world and it's always "Poor me, Poor me" for them. Yeah. I'll do that now.

I hate people that think they are so wonderful. That they are greater than anyone. That their s**t doesn't stink. Then there are those who think everyone loves them. Hah. People are funny but they don't really make me smile.

Hmm...What else can I ramble about? I'm sure if I sat around for an hour or so analyzing things and picking at different situations I could wright type a novel. It would just be like little notes...but it could be novel length.

Yesterday at the chiropractor, I did all these muscle tests for situations and things that have happened to me and things I have experienced. We've all tried to see my sickness as my "break". Like a break from life I guess. We aren't sure about how long I've had this but I was never able to be fully sick because I've always had so much going on. Even if I had nothing going on, I still had too much going on. Then when I finally was settled down (and working 2 jobs) I get sick. Then sicker. The sick some more. I'm incredibly glad that I have nothing I can die from and that I'm not in the hospital...but it is a little inconvenient. But I never have been able to relax (minus pain) like this before. I'm not allowed to work or do anything with too much activity. Just rest. And it's nice.

My spleen is screwed up from worry. I won't go into detail about what I worry about because it is in my "Don't reveal your life story on a freggin blog or whatever because it's just not what you do and it kind of makes you have that feeling of 'oh I'm so whiny, listen to my problems because I'm so sad; all attention on me' needy thing and it makes you feel a little immature too and besides it's none of anyone's ******** business" rule. So my note-to-self (and oder by my doctor) is that I must stop worrying.

Hmm what else to say. It's now 6:06 so I've been typing for almost 40 mins. What else is on my mind...FOOD. Grilled cheese preferably. With bacon! Ahhhh bacon. How I love you so! Well I know what I will be eating at 5 later today. Oh! I need to somehow go shopping for two of my friends' birthdays. Man, I'm hungry. I kind of want spicy chicken too. Mmm. Yea that sounds good. Maybe I'll make my pizza too and invite my friend over for pizza.

Wow this is getting long! Well what should I expect?! 40 minutes of rambling and "what's on my mind" stuff. I'm surprised it's not longer! And I just accidentally misspelled "surprise" and thought, "Why the hell is "R" in there?! You say "suh-prize!" not "surr-prize!" I mean come on! Huh but whatever.

I really want to post my art but I don't want some punk-b***h to save a pic and claim it as his own. Like on this forum I posted in where the person is going to pay a lot for some avi art, this guy posted 4 pics he claimed to be his own. Two looked like s**t, and two looked absolutely incredible! One was kind of small but had been photoshoped and looked fabulous. Another was done in some kinds of colored pencil and looked lovely as well. One was done in just pencil and was sloppy and looked un-cared for. The other was just crap, I'm sorry. All of them looked absolutely nothing alike and two had signatures. The signatures were completely different from each other indicating "That's not your art," "You stole those," "You are only showing those to get lots of gold (but you'll have to do art for the person so you'll be ******** if you win anyways)," and my favorite, "What the ******** are you trying to pull?!" And there's my art rant. The moral of the story is: "If you are going to steal art steal from the same person so your lie is more believable." Oh! And use common sense. Seriously. Also make sure all your art has your name on it! (shall be posting art soon)

6:24! Almost an hour now! Go me for having nothing to do, being sick, and not having school. I was so glad to get out of there. Do I miss it? No. If anything I miss having a scheduled lunch everyday as opposed to now where I have to remember to eat (hah that sounds so bad). I also liked going to lunch with my "posse." But that's about it. I miss about 4 people. Everyone else...hah whatever. People who miss high school are the people that were "A big deal" and ones that their very life and existence revolved around school. The ones that complained daily pissed me off. A theme at work for a while was "If you don't like it, get out." Kind of a life thingy too. If you don't like it, get out. It isn't necessarily the best thing for you but it'll shut you up about the matter for the time being. So you can suck it up...or you can get out and have a s**t load of more problems. But you won't have to be in the hell hole anymore. Hmm. Hell hole? More problems minus hell hole? Eek. Decisions. Now to go to a different subject. More of the story: "Just shut the hell up. There's life after high school so just deal with it until you are finally out. And any problems at high school are better than family problems. Why? Because high school crap can be forgotten and unless you marry someone from high school (which just made me lose all respect for you) then those problems won't be there all your life like family problems would be. Family is family and they will always be there. High school won't."

6:37~! Over an hour and this may as well be like a xanga entry! I'm surprised (there's that word again) that Gaia doesn't have a character limit on the journal entries. But then again if you are writing in a diary the diary isn't going to say, "You've reached so and so characters and the character limit is whatever whatever." Haha. I must be getting tired to think of something that stupid.

Man I'm hungry. I could go for some ice cream right about now. I kind of would like rice with fish sauce but I don't have any chilies to make the sauce. Also I can't have any sauces or things with meat-like things. I could have rice though! But rice is the one thing I absolutely suck at making so I'm not going to go there. Plus it's 6:42. I kind of want my taters too for the massive overload of cheese and garlic goodness. And pizza. And grilled cheese. But right now I'm in the state of hunger where everything sounds great and you want to eat everything because it all sounds wonderful.

6:44. I yawned!! I need oxygen but it could also mean I'm getting tired! Yessss! I will now do some crap with my pictures and post some. (looking for pictures. this could take a while.)

6:58 I absolutely can't stand not having Photoshop. Bastards. There are so many things I want to do with my art and add weird stuff and maybe even have a DECENT background. If i want a background or some effect I just cut out everything on paint then put my picture on top. Any fault shows and believe me, there's a lot of fault without the stupid magic wand. Dammit. I'll jussst type my name on some stuff, upload it then post.

This one's fine.

7:05

The End.



ps: good thing I copied this whole thing before posting! Gaia had logged me off! blaugh

Total Value: 51,247 Gold
After Exclusions: 14,714 Gold
[Item Information]

Item List:
Egyptian Gold Bracelet
Egyptian Gold Bracelet
Raving Red Starman Boots
Fire Flower
Autumn Glory
Yellow Rose Wristlet Corsage
Goldenrod Butterfly Terrycloth Tube-Top
Gold Ball Ornament Earrings
Gift of the Gods
Santa Baby Leggings

Can't help it. I'm Lina again. It's comfortable to me. heart

Die Schöne Und Das Biest
(Märchen schreibt die Zeit)

Märchen schreibt die Zeit,
immer wieder wahr,
eben kaum gekannt,
dann doch zugewandt,
unerwartet klar.

Wandel nur zu zweit,
eh es sich verschließt,
erst war beiden bang,
dann ganz ohne Zwang,
die Schöne und das Biest.

Ewig wie die Zeit,
ewig und beredt,
ewig altbekannt,
ewig imposant,
wie die Sonn' aufgeht.
Märchen schreibt die Zeit,
es ist ein altes Lied,
bittersüß verwirrt,
einseh'n, dass man irrt,
und auch mal vergibt.

Wie das Licht der Sonn'
strahlend sich ergießt.
Märchen schreibt die Zeit
in des Dichters Kleid,
die Schöne und das Biest.
Märchen schreibt die Zeit
in des Dichters Kleid,
die Schöne und das Biest.

To the avi reflecting myself! haha. feels good to be back.

To change my avi back to the way it was...to the "Me" avi. *sigh* so many memories with my Hinagiku and of course my Lina avis. haha. but whatever. Okay everyone! We are honoring the last week of the Hinagiku avi before I change it back later this week. Enjoy!

Finshed

It was years ago that they had met. She was older than him. He was five and she was seven. How and where they met is unknown. All that mattered is that they became friends almost instantly.

They had little in common but that changed almost instantly as well. He was outgoing and kind while she was somewhat reserved and almost bitter. His interests including many different kinds of sports-a typical boy-and he loved exploring things. She on the other hand, preferred reading and exploring the arts. One major thing the had in common, however, was fishing. Everyday. Sun up to sundown they would go and fish together. Talking, laughing, each day enjoying each other's company. It was as if they were in there own world together. They became so close they were practically brother and sister. They spent more time together than with their own family. Where ever she went, he would follow as she did wherever he went. They were best friends-siblings practically-and they were inseparable.

One night he called her and asked if she wanted to fish elsewhere because they had gotten few catches in their normal spot. She agreed so they went to fish in a more violent part of the river in hopes on more fish. As they discussed previous events, she hooked a large fish. She was small. Much smaller than he despite the age difference. The fish pulled so hard that she was pulled into the river. Panicing, he was uncertain of what to do and so his body, moving on "its own", jumped into the river after her. He was a decent swimmer but apparently not enough to save the both of them. He swam to her and found that she had hit a rock or something equally painful and she was bleeding from her forehead. He swam desperately trying to keep her head above water to prevent her from drowning, and trying to keep himself from drowning. The current was rapidly pulling him under the water and he was worried she would drown from being pulled under as well. The current pulled them further downstream and the speed increasing. There were more and more rocks and branches in the water that could injure them. He knew if he did not do something, the would be pulled far away from home and she would take a turn for the worst. He did all he could and reached out to grab a branch of a tree hanging over the river.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He managed to grab the branch and held on for both their lives. He heard a voice that was neither his nor hers. He began yelling as much as his weak voice would allow. He looked over at her. Blood was covering her face. He had never felt so hopeless. He continued to yell. Before he blacked out he saw a hand reaching for his own.

Two days later, they were returned to their parents by a stranger that had saved their lives. He was slightly shooken up over the event but she, on the other hand, had been thrown in a coma. Three days past and she did not wake. Four, five, six, seven. It had been a week since the accident in the river and she was still comatose. Her parents announced that the family would be moving within a week due to him being such a nuisance to their daughter. Five more days passed and she still did not wake. He visited her everyday hoping and praying she would come to. On the sixth day of the second week-the day before her family would move-she woke. He was so happy. Despite the fact that she would be gone soon, he would be able to see her and talk to her on last time. He ran to the hospital to see her only to be filled with great sadness in a number of seconds.

As he entered the hospital he saw her parents in the lobby area. They seemed upset but that did not matter to him at the moment. He began running towards her room when her parents noticed and tried stopping him. However nothing could stop him now that she was awake and he could say "good-bye." He entered her room and saw her sitting in her hospital bed. Her hair was very ragged and the cut on her head looked terrible. Her skin seemed pale and she looked like she had gone through much more than a "little coma." He went over to her and placed his hand on hers and asked her how she was and if she would forgive him for geting her injured. He waited for her answer. However she just continued to stare at him. She was silent; and so was he. He asked her again yet she still did not answer. Her parents entered her room and explained that it was usless to talk to her. He refused to listen. He would get through to her. However...

She had amnesia...and she did not remember him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night he wept. So many tears. He cried for so long and so much that he could not anymore. He had lost someone he loved in so many ways. She had forgotten him and the following morning, she would be gone. And so the day she would leave came and he said his goodbye to someone who had forgotten him. So to her, his goodbye meant nothing. Her family left and he was alone.

Days passed. Days turned to months which turned to years. His family eventually moved as well and the place where so much had occurred was finally abandoned as well. She moved twice since her moving from their hometown. She was nine now and she had just began fourth grade at a new school that was somewhat very uninviting. Unlike her previous school that was caring and friendly, her new school was cruel and bullying. She was often picked on because of her height and her noticeable difference from others in the school. Her elementary school experience mad her even more anti-social and reserved than before. He move several times as well. He became more interested in sports and began playing soccer and baseball. His new school experiences were fairly ok however it was somewhat challenging to make friends from moving so much and never settling on one spot. His family, however, finally did find a suitable place to settle and he was able to make friends rather well because of his friendly character.

Years continued to pass. He eventually made it to junior high but at the same time, she was beginning high school. He continued soccer and she continued art. She had few friends while he had many. The same cheery boy and the same quiet girl. Both living their lives the way they chose. Both encountering hardships and both enjoying fun times. He had befriended amy people but he never forgot her and she had recalled her memory of her childhood. Both hoped they would meet again.

And they would...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was very stressed entering high school but was able to befriend some people with similar intrests as she. Many of them were "computer nerds", as some would call them, and the were able to get her slightly into online chats and role playing. After a while though, she found it wasn't much for her and discarded the liking for a while. Her second year of high school, sophomore year, she decided to continue on in her learning of the arts and joined the theater, the women's choir and began her second year of art. He also went through many different things. He hadquit baseball and soccer and found something he enjoyed much more: hockey. Hockey became practically his number one thing. Hockey, hockey, hockey. He loved it very much and decided that might as well be his "thing" forever. She found something too to everyone's surprise. She was very shy, anti-social, somewhat bitter even and she joined the varsity women's choir. Though she did not plan on pursuing music as he did hockey, she had found a place where others were accepting of her. And both felt as though they had found where they belonged.

Another year went by. He finally entered high school and she was on her third year. He found high school as a somewhat frightning place but found the idea of 'newer place newer people' exciting. She, on the other hand, hating practically everything about high school. All but choir of course; but that was also a large stress causer for her. While almost half way into the year he too became very stressed with the high school drama and the annoying teachers and the much more advanced classes. He was but onto an honors program that technically qualified him as a sophomore in all corr. classes other than English. The large ammonts of school stress and trying to keep hockey balanced did not give him an entirely "fun" first year feel of high school. She was also terribly stressed. On top of failing around three classes at a time, she was very involved in choir, theater, third year art, and a very demanding part time job. Also, her health became worse as the year progressed and she missed many days of school at a time. She felt at many times her life would end to extreme stress.

The second semester of school eventually came. Both had no idea how they were able to make it throught the first. He was able to pass but she would be retaking several things. Nonetheless they both continued to try making it through the rest of the year. Things seemed to go a little uphill for her. She began passing most all her classes and her health slowly seemed to get better. Since she was unable to go outside most of the time due to her health, she would stay inside and either read or draw. She eventually started going on the computer more often as well. His life however seemed to become even more complicated. His parents both seemed to be irritated with each other and his grandmother was causing stress between both the parents as well. His parents would often times yell at each other and at times his mother would leave from too much stress. He also spent most of his time on the computer to avoid having to go downstairs to the argument. He came across the same online site that she was on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She came home from school one day and was too stressed to start on homework. She figured since it was the weekend, she could hold off on it until Sunday. So she logged on to her normal online site and began playing a few minigames. She decided to go into a chat room and play minigames at the same time. No one was there at first but a few other users started joining the room as well.

He had another stressful day at school as well. He skateboarded home, ate a snack, and then he too logged onto the site. He was still a little stumped on what to do so he figured it would be best to play a minigame and ask for information on what to do on a chatroom. He found one slowly getting more people. He entered it. When he was in it, he found he was the only boy and felt a little relieved asking nice girls for help. So he sat a chatted with two girls. Laughing and enjoying internet friends. At the same time, she was enjoying internet friends. One of the girls eventually had to leave and he was left with another girl. She was different than the one who previously left. This girl seemed somewhat quiet and somewhat older than the girl before. The two of them: him and her, unknowingly, were together again.

They both added each other to their friend list and went to bed. The next day, he was on and so was she. So they decided to do as they did before and talk on a chatroom while playing games. They talked to each other for hours and were very happy to have found such a wonderful friend. But even though they talked to each other about everything, neither of them realized who the other really was.

Time continued to pass. They lost touch for only a few months due to school but were able to reconnect once it had ended for both of them. They tried more and more to log on and talk to the other that it almost became ridiculous what they tried. Most of the time, they would just stay up until their parents woke up and then sleep for hours the next day; then they'd stay up again. Both became comfortable enough with each other that they started talking about each other pasts. He told her about all the annoying issues with moving around and she told about the stress she went through at her elementary.

Then he told her about a girl he used to know.

He told her that there was a girl he knew a long time ago. She was older than him and kind of like a big sister to him. She was suprised to hear this. She then told him about a boy she used to know. He was younger than her and kind of like a little brother. This suprised him too. They both told each other stories about their childhood and found that almost all their experiences were exactly the same. She, finding this completely bizarre, insisted they tell the other their name at the same time to find if the other is really their childhood friend. She also thought that if the other is not who they thought the other was, then they should never speak again. They both gave the other their name. They had found each other again.