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I like my ex but I dont want to get back together with him what do I do? please help me!! I miss him so much!! I love him so much!!

I am starting to get depressed, maybe I'll start cutting my wrists again...XP...I mean if nobody apparently cares then I will and since I am thinking about death a lot there is nothing in my way other than my religon...my head hurts...and yes I also have A.A.D. so maybe that is part of it...