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For folks still watching, waiting, listening... What's my newest excuse for another bout of AWOLism? Okay, brace yourselves, 'cause here it comes...

I ain't got one.

That's right. Unless you count some serious mental instability that should really be given professional help, I've got no excuse. RL biting my a** isn't an excuse, since I think RL bites everyone. Lack of time is no excuse, since it never really stopped me before. Being seized by stomach-churning, brain-numbing bouts of anxiety at the mere thought of trying to poke my head out on AIM or here on Gaia is no excuse, since... Well, come to think of it, that might be an excuse.

To be honest, I meant to do this a month ago. More than. Probably a couple, now that I think about it. To say that 2006 has been a c**k-sucking mother ******** would be unkind to all those c**k-sucking mother ******** out there. And I mean that in the depths of every little "ck" sound in that sentence. Still, I feel MISERABLE because there are folks worse off than me, but I still feel MISERABLE because a lot of those folks are those that I've come to care deeply about.

Sabin's back in DJJ. An elderly woman closer to me than my own grandmothers passed away. My mother had to take a week off of work to keep from having a nervous breakdown, since her best friend was admitted to the hospital with pnemonia on her (my mom's) birthday, the day after we found out Sabin was going to have to go back to rehab. A really good friend of mine was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia. And all of that was just in this lovely month of January. Joy.

I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry to all of those I let down on promises. I'm sorry to those who've been worrying about me since I've dropped off the face of the Earth. I'm so very, very sorry. In every sense of the word. That's why I'm doing this. I'm making it official. I'm not coming back to Gaia.

Let me be clear on a few things first, though. The first person who PMs me asking for any of my belongings is getting blocked. I want to keep those Breedables of mine that aren't specifically RP required. Even if I'm not wearing them, or using them, or whatever, I want to keep my items. On the *slight*, microscopic chance that I actually return, I want all those things that I've come to love and identify with my friends waiting for me when I come back. And just because I'm not coming back doesn't mean I won't be checking in, or I won't be reachable. Some of you have my phone number, and you can call whenever you wish. You can e-mail me at teralinth@yahoo.com, if you're desperate enough. And some of you know the AIM I'm cowering under.

I'd ask that you not forget me, but given how little I've been around of late, I wouldn't be surprised if you had already. Suffice it to say that all of those friends I'm leaving behind hold a special place in my heart.

heart heart heart

Con di'Hanel
Teralinth d'Kalin

Okay, my other brother, the one who's *not* Sabin and didn't run away from home at the beginning of this year, got arrested last night for DUI, driving without a license, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, because he had someone under the age of 21 in his car who had also been drinking. While being taken to the jail, he started flipping out in the back seat of the police car, hitting his head against the windows. Since they couldn't lock him up in that condition, they took him to the hospital, where he is currently waiting to be transfered to a psychiatric hospital in the area. He's tried to hang himself twice in his hospital room in the meantime.

So, yeah. xp

As if anyone's actually thinking to look here... So, I've been gone a while. Multiple reasons, all culminating in the fact that I couldn't bring myself to do anything social. Even online. Yeah, I'm sad that way.

Here's just a couple of said reasons:

- My grandmother had to have an emergency quadruple bypass. Didn't think she was going to make it.
- The IRS told my parents they owe $6000 in unpaid taxes. Yes, I'm still living with them. Yes, I'm still using their van. Yes, I suck.
- I'm still running into the problem where every time I manage to get some money saved, in this case towards a new car, some unforseen expenditure pops up and I have to use it. I've got exactly $90 right now for my car. That can get me, what, a tire? stare

Okay, enough whining. Now I'm hobbling away. PM me if you read this and still care.

For anyone who cares to know, here's what's going on in my life right now. My brother, known on Gaia as sabindkalin, has run away from home. He's been gone since Monday morning, and no one knows where he is. He has run away because he failed his drug test yet again, thus violating his probation, and would have had to return to the Department of Juvenille Justice again, where he had already spent the entire Christmas holiday. As my thoughts, as well as those of my family's, are currently focused on figuring out where he is, I'm not really into making lots of nifty RP posts and the like. So... Whatever.