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so i know it sounds odd to call him that, but thats who he was..... he was a great person and had the hearts of many in his hands.... and when his finger pulled the trigger, those hearts were crushed. something snapped in our community when that shot was fired... and things may never be the same again. i cant seem to think straight, i cant seem to feel anything, and no matter how long i think, or how hard i try... i cant fix it....
i want him back... i want my friends to stop hurting.....i want the scars to fade and vanish.... i want to feel something besides pain..... i want to wake up from this nightmare today has been..... i want him to show up and say it was a cruel joke, and have everyone punch him in his gut and hold him close.....
i want life to stop falling apart....
someone tell me how to handle this!! how do i make the tears fall where they have to, and stop the pain that drains my community of their desire to smile?
how do i heal? not only them, but myself?

tell me how