|
“For Sale:”
Sebastian opened his eyes and looked at his sleeping wife. Lilly’s dirty blond hair had grown out of its short male cut and was now lightly covering her face. Her eyes were closed and her face relaxed; peaceful for the first time in many weeks. His eyes followed her body’s outline and he smiled, feeing her enlarged belly pressing against his stomach. He could feel the child moving, shifting inside his beloved.
He pulled his hand out from under the comforter and reached for Lilly, gently
brushing a few strands of hair from her face. She opened her blue eyes and smiled softly at her husband. She mirrored her husband’s actions and reached for Sebastian, twisting his black curls around her fingers.
She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. When he pulled back he noticed that the familiar worry lines and sorrow crossed her face. He gently stroked her cheek and smiled, hoping to one day chase those hated lines and sorrow from her face. He would never get the chance to.
Lilly laughed and shook her head. Sighing exasperatedly she used her arms to push herself up and to sit on the side of the bed. Sitting on the side of the bed, she rested her hand lightly on her stomach. Sebastian smiled and scooted himself up behind Lilly. He wrapped his left arm around her and let his head rest on her stomach, feeling the babe kicking. “You are beautiful, baby.” He whispered to her. She smiled and squeezed her hand, not knowing it would be the last time he would do that.
He touched the small of her back and nuzzled her. His kisses trailed up her spine, pushing himself into a sitting position as he did so. He kissed the back of her neck, and then the side, grinning as the pregnant women arched her back in pleasure. “No, we have things to do.” She said sternly, her voice wavering only slightly.
Sebastian nodded and pulled back. He got off the bed on his side and came around to help Lilly stand up. He knew she hated it, but she had gotten so big now that she couldn’t stand up on her own anymore. He reached for her outstretched hand and pulled, ignoring the set of her jaw as he helped her stand up. He turned and entered the bathroom knowing that she wouldn’t want any more help, but he kept the door open. He watched her through the mirror; he had to make sure that she was okay. If only he knew how far from okay she was.
He ran his fingers through his hair and looked in the mirror. He didn’t need to shave, since he had done so last night and had showered also. Sebastian shook his head and took his tooth brush and toothpaste. He started brushing his teeth and glanced to the mirror checking on Lilly.
She had a shirt on and was struggling into a pair of pants. He saw her glance toward the door of the bathroom and then back down at her pants determinedly. Sebastian hurriedly finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth. He came out of the bathroom and walked up to Lilly. She looked up at him tears glistening in her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
He put his hand on Lilly’s shoulder and pushed her into a standing position. She shook her head and took a step back. “No, let me try again.” She said simply and bent down to pull her pants up herself. She got them about halfway up before she almost fell back. Quick as a flash Sebastian was there, catching her before she fell.
“My turn.” He whispered in her ear as he righted her. He got down on his knees and pulled her pants up for her, buttoning them once he got them around her waist. He lifted her shirt and kissed her belly, softly, slowly, lovingly.
Sebastian stood and lifted Lilly’s bent head and smiled at her. “It’s okay that you can’t do it. Now, do you want socks and sneakers, or sandals?” He asked, love in his eyes.
Lilly thought about it and smiled. “Sandals would be nice.” She said simply and squeezed her husband’s hand.
Sebastian nodded and went to get her sandals. He came back and Lilly was sitting on their bed. He bent down and picked up her right foot gently sliding the sandal on her foot and tying it up. He did the same to the other foot and then stood up, reaching out his hands to help Lilly up.
Lilly reached for him and he pulled her up. She wrapped her arms around her husband and hugged him the best she could. He pulled himself back and smiled. “Let me get dressed and then we can go, okay?”
Lilly smiled and nodded. She walked out of the room and into the kitchen, pulling out some fruit to eat for breakfast.
Sebastian smiled and shook his head as he walked towards his dresser, looking for clothes. He pulled out underwear, socks, jeans and a simple gray t-shirt. Putting on his clothes, he walked out to eat with his wife for that last time.
As they walked into the store, Sebastian could see Lilly’s face bright with joy. He looked over at her and smiled, slipping his arm around her back. He steered them to the baby section. He laughed and smiled with Lilly, trying to get her mind off the worry she had been having concerning the baby.
They passed the card aisle and Sebastian’s eyes landed on the sympathy cards. Messages like : “I’m sorry for your loss” or “My sympathies during this hard time for you” assaulted him. He shook his head and continued walking.
They rounded the corner and were assaulted by so many bright and paisley colors Sebastian had to cover his eyes. He uncovered them and laughed. “Wow...so, where to start? We know it’s a girl…but do you want to shower it in pink things or all colors?” He asked, actually caring about the answer not knowing that it wouldn’t matter.
Lilly looked around and smiled, happy that she was shopping for her own child now. “All colors.” She said as she walked forward and looked at the mobiles that she could hang on the crib. Her eyes flitted to a nightlight that was the stars and moon before her eyes fell on a pair of baby shoes.
She bent down on her knees, not caring that she would need Sebastian’s help to get up. The shoes were just too precious. She took them in her hands, looking at them. They were white with little stars and moons on them. Also there were music notes and hearts scattered on them. They were sneakers and the laces were patterned with the same design.
Lilly raised them up for Sebastian to inspect. He bent down and looked at them, smiling. “I love them.” He said gently and kissed Lilly on the cheek. He put the shoes in their cart and then reached down to help her up, not knowing the significance the shoes would soon hold. Once she was up, they turned to look for more things.
They left the store with three new sets of clothes, one stuffed bear, one nightlight, one mobile, three new baby CD’s, a set of Pooh books and the shoes.
Lilly would never see her child use them.
When they came home, Lilly went into the baby’s room and immediately started putting things away. She was putting away the last thing, the shoes, when she cried out and slid to the floor. The shoes were still clutched in her hand.
Sebastian came in and ran to her, eyes wide. He immediately pulled out his car keys and thought about where they had put the ‘baby bag’ as he did so.
Sebastian woke up, drenched in a cold sweat, the echo of a babe’s cries and a women’s screams in his ears. He closed his eyes and sighed, the incessant tone going though his ears and become background music to an assault of images. He shook his head, trying to get them to leave.
Lilly, her head back, back arched as convulsions streaked through her. Her hand squeezing his making her knuckles white.
The babe covered in blood, her blue skin shining through.
Lilly’s face, relaxed for the first time since that morning. Had it only been one day?!
The nurses worried face as she gets the doctor.
The bright crimson blood, too much blood.
The doctor’s face, its sorrow false, as he said those two ill fated words; “I’m sorry.”
Again, Sebastian shook his head to get rid of the images. He pushed himself from the bed and picked of the shoes. He kissed them and went to the computer. Sitting down he logged on, silent tears falling down his face.
Sebastian wiped his eyes as he put the ad up on e-bay, the tickita-tapita of the keys loud in the silent room. “For sale:” Why did this happen? We are-were-surrounded by technology that is supposed to prevent this kind of thing!! How could this happen?! Thoughts chased each other in his mind as he wrote “baby shoes,”. It’s all my fault. I wanted children; I was selfish and wanted a child. Sebastian shook his head and concentrated on finishing “never worn.” I couldn’t save them. I didn’t save them. Why did this happen? He finished the ad and looked up, wishing he had only known.
((grr it won't let me prake it into the paragraphs right..oh well...please tell me what you think.))
 nutzboutanime · Mon Dec 11, 2006 @ 11:37pm · 0 Comments |
