|
you know what? life sucks. you work your whole life away, and all you end up with is a lot of useless crap you say you own. what is the point of slaving away for the someone else to make money off your work, and become rich as hell off your labor? being the "little man" means that your a slave to a company run by a rich man, and your job is to make him richer, while he tries to come up with ways to keep you from having anything. if they give you a raise, they take all your time. they make you work for hours upon hours just to keep your stupid job. if you dont, they just get rid of you and replace you with someone who will. if they give you time off, they keep you from even having ends meet. and the worst part about it is that if you buy your companies stuff, they start charging you more when they start paying you more, canceling the raise! and if you dont think that it really IS slave labor, stop and think about it. if you want to keep the job you have, they will make you jump through rings to stay there. they stop paying you for breaks, so that you work 45 hours a week for 40 hours pay. they make you work 10 hours overtime at 5 hours overtime pay that way. they make you try your hardest to keep things straight by making sure that nothing is in order. if they can do anything to make your life harder, they do. need something for your job? they either stop you from using it, hide it, or flat out dont have it in the first place.
you know what sucks worse then a job? being rejected, having your heart broken, and being forced to deal with it because you cant show anyone how bad you really feel. wishing you could hurt yourself so that the pain you feel could be real. so the pain might actually end. to want to feel better, and knowing that you never will. being lost, alone, and unwanted. being worthless. having so much wrong with you that nobody could ever want you. knowing that your destined to be alone all your life. being broken with no way to be fixed.
i have major depression, insomnia, attention deficit dissorder, acute anxiety dissorder, severe memory loss problems, and cronic joint pain. none of that can be fixed, and they cant even DEAL with most of it at the same time. why must i be defective? why is it that i had to be the one to deal with all this? it wasn't bad enough that i have to go through all the crap in my life, so i have to deal with all that too? i cant think straight anymore, i hadly care about living, and i feel like im loosing my mind. i honestly feel like im going insane. not remembering much of my life is starting to realyl effect me. the symptoms of acute anxiety include paranoia. for me, its paranoia about death. life with no purpose is a living death, which is worse then a painful, life ending thing. my life has no purpose. im dead inside right now, so why does it still hurt?
all this was to say one thing: Life sucks.
 firedragongt · Sat Aug 19, 2006 @ 07:47am · 2 Comments |
