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I can't beleive it! Why am I so damn stupid!?

silviakitsune: ^^ Do you still day-dream about me?
occulariinfernum: sometimes
silviakitsune: ^///^ Yay. You're not bored of me yet.
silviakitsune: Sorry... I'm just kinda... depressed right now.
occulariinfernum: why?
silviakitsune: I don't know... it's not really something that I control.
silviakitsune: I've been really paranoid lately...
occulariinfernum: about what?
silviakitsune: Don't take this the wrong way... I'm afraid that you're going to stop liking me...
silviakitsune: I know that it's not rational but I just can't help it... In a month or so I'll just stop thinking that all together and I'll be perfectly happy again.
silviakitsune: That doesn't bother you.. does it?
occulariinfernum: does to
silviakitsune: I'm sorry... I... I don't mean it that way.
silviakitsune: Mm.. I should never have brought it up...
occulariinfernum: its ok
silviakitsune: I still feel bad.
silviakitsune: Erm... I'm going to go wallow in my own misery now. Don't miss me too much, eh? ^^;

Damn.... I really ******** up.

Then...

silviakitsune: I've had a revalation. Wanna hear it?
occulariinfernum: sure
silviakitsune: Okay... there are two parts.
silviakitsune: Part One: I'm over my paranioa
Part Two: I realized how worked up I am about this whole thing... I could only get like this with someone I really love, respect, and trust.
silviakitsune: Mm. I feel much better now. Thank you, Phantom.
occulariinfernum: sarcasm?
silviakitsune: No. There was no sarcasm. I meant every word I said.
occulariinfernum: ok
silviakitsune: So. I understand if you're upset and I offer my appologizes.
silviakitsune: Erm yeah... *shifts in chair akwardly*
silviakitsune: You know it's snowing again up here.. I think that's wrong... I mean it's Easter... it shouldn't be snowing.
occulariinfernum went idle at 10:05:34 PM.

I'm nervous that he's really mad. He's one of the best things that's happened to me and I'd be devestated if he broke up with me... crying