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Screwed Up FairyTale
Kindly Kings, softly queens, blushing princesses`, charming princes along with a peace filled town...I think its time to close that fairytale for in this tale there is no such thing as a happy ending
Chapter Two
((Wellp here's part of Chapter two, please leae some comments to tell me what'cha think))

"An'ya..." A young woman was speaking, as she randomly pulled out weeds. They were in one of the inner gardens next to one of the major hallways, they were only seperated from it by a series of white plastered arches. The place was lovely despite the fact that everywhere else was dying. "That isn't right." She continued pointing at An'ya and then to the bucket of water that was next to her sitting form.

An'ya frowned as she tried to figure on what she met before she nearly slapped herself. Ever since morning she hadn't felt right as if some big stone had been put into play, it was only mid-afternoon and she for one didn't like sun all that much. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled to the blonde haired girl.

By now she only wore a tight fitting servant gown as prefered by many of this rank, like the woman across from her or Fushou. It was an old garment riddled with stitches and mis-matched colors to prevent it from completely falling apart. She didn't envy Fushou, like so many did, for the simple fact that hers were in better condition.

Fushou gave her that look so An'ya quckly busied herself with cleaning the stone floors in a big watery mess. It could be almost comical when she accidently knocked the bucket over with her elbow, if it hadn't been for the horror filled face. What if a higher up saw? She'd be on the streets with faster than one can take the breath to breathe. It didn't matter if she was their favorite slave.


Cherry Blossoms Cry
Community Member
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  • [04/09/07 04:44am]
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  • [03/31/07 06:51pm]
  • [03/31/07 03:39am]
  • [01/09/07 01:22am]


  • User Comments: [3]
    once again good, but there is a LOT of grammar mistakes, I can't understand some of the sentences..

    comment jackals_incarnation · Community Member · Sun Apr 01, 2007 @ 12:47am
    I like it 3nodding But I agree with Chris, ye need to clean up some of the sentences and grammar. I'm not one to speak though sweatdrop I haven't revised my story in a while rolleyes

    Keep more comin' Jae, I want to read............. MORE!!!

    comment Zekoyah · Community Member · Thu Apr 05, 2007 @ 02:28am
    I Disagree... I Don't Know If Jae's Edited At All, But I Can Read It Perfectly Fine.

    Love It Jae!

    comment Ssesie Luffers the Adam · Community Member · Fri Apr 27, 2007 @ 12:33am
    User Comments: [3]

     
     
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