Let it out.....
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Had the bad days and the good days. I get back from Believe and my hearts on fire for God then it just gets crushed..... I'm getting all bla today. Everything has gone normal but I don't feel normal. Just not myself. So I titled this wingless, because well... Nevermind. I have to go to my sister's science report thingy soon. So i'll type it for a bit.
Well you see.....Dude, it's like i'm going emo again!!! I really need to cut it out and use to life and it's spin of terrors. I said the wrong thing again. I did it again! I just have to not speak anymore or somthing because it always come out wrong. I doubt she'll read this. She said she loves reading my notebooks but she never does. Only except one. I just feel darn terrible again. So I finally write it in something, and yet i still can't get anything out. I just want to break 5,000 pencils and stomp on the ground. I'm mad because I do stuff wrong all the time. When I just got done doing something I thought was right it takes a turn for the worst.
I read the book of Job, did some good. I stopped being so sad and mad at the same time. My voice is almost gone from singing at believe so I couldn't read the whole thing out loud. Suffereing? Job had that. Still though, everything happens for a reason and sometimes God doesn't want to tell you why. I think that's right.... Well I have to go to my sisters thing and.... Please
SOME ONE CALL ME!
Just to talk, I just want to talk to anybody! I bet i'll feel a whole lot better by then though.
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It's me again. It's the next day. I woke up horriblely sick. Sore throat, headache, and really really dizzy! I couldn't walk stirght. Then I had to homeschool emerson which emerson took pity and did what I asked. My grandma made me swallow some pills which I suck at swallowing pills. So it was hard. But after I swallowed some I felt better. I was thinking about yesturday and thought I just have to accept it without a reason why it's happening. Oh and thanks too all my friends that call yesturday. Nate and kylla were a big help. They aren't the only ones who called so thanks to the others too. Well If I did lose my wings, I don't think they broke I just forgot them somewhere. Like Maybe back when Austi, me, kylla, and rachel were sharing a hotel room at believe laughing and sharing secrets. Well i'll get them back later.... Right now is Ramen time!
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