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But

I feel like something in side of me isn’t right
I’m not sure if I’ve very been happy before
Have I every experienced real happiness
I’m only 19 so I know I have time
But
I look at people from my passed
and
I want to cry
I think about the people in my present
and
I wonder if I should really be here
I messed up my own life
I can’t blame anyone else
But
Did I really mess it up
I think back
I thought I was happy for a while
But
What made me so sad on the inside
I see myself now
I see that I’m have fun
For a while
But
Then it goes away
and
Something inside of my what’s to mess it up
Is there something wrong with me
Do I not want to be happy
For what reason
Do I not deserve happiness
I’m 19 so I figure I still have time
But
Will I let myself experience it with out question