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It amuses me that the last three entries which are all quite close together are about the same person. I suppose that is why the tittle fits it so well.

Dissapointment. . .

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if that is one of the biggest sides of love - yet in those times I can feel a blade pressed against my skin.

Emotional or physical pain is pain.

But being let down, crushed and worst of all lead into dissapointment, especially at a tiem where you are secure and lookign forward with all your heart to soemting is - crushing.

I think that when I die it will not be becasue of a blade, or age or illness.

No it will be the crushing blow of dissapointment and heartache that will crush me. One can die from heartbreak. . . in my heart I feel that I to will go in such away.

In my heart - a heart that clings to the person who crushes it time and again with dissapointment - I will not let go despite the pain.

Clinging - the only thing that can fight dissapointment.

Hope

And so I will continue; hope as my guide dissapointment by my side. A two sided blade with a razor thin edge - as I walk along the blade either weight could be my doom. Heaven and Hell, Life and Death, Hope and Dispair. They are all double sided - parallel - the same yet not.

Each of these we cary and are aware of. . . each we know looms on either side of us. One is guided by purselve the other by actions by and around others.

This is life.

This is my life.

This is my hope and dissapointment.

This is to the one who holds my heart.

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May you take it or break it. Hate it or hold it. Love it or lose it.

My life and love; heart and soul; they belogn only to you.

Always

My itooshi heart