Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I've been pulling all nighters for the past three weeks, why? I'm afraid to go to sleep at night. Without someone there with me and they have to sleep with me until I get myself up. But I don't have that so I've been pulling all nighters for a while now, and my mom's noticeing I'm getting paler and skinner . I even coughed up some blood on my wait to go home from school today. I can barely move and it hurts when I look to the side . I'm not doing this on purpose but I can't help myself it's all from a childhood trauma of seeing my father beat my mother after dragging her out of the bed. So now I can never sleep in fear I might get dragged off and beat by not my mother nor my step father but by someone. I'm frightened and I manage to stay on the computer for a while until my body can't take anymore and I pass out. I know I say I'm fine but I'm lieing to even myself. I'm just really ill now. And I'll do my best to get better: