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I have issues... I am nice to everyone accept this one kid. It drives me crazy cause I don't know why I am so mean to him. I have tried to be nice to him but he pushes my buttons so much (unintentionally)! It is hard to be nice to him. I can be nice to people who are mean but I struggle with him. And the worse thing is... he is my sisters boyfriend. Maybe I am competative cause I want her near to me and not him. I really don't know but all I feel is regret because I don't understand it. If I don't understand it... how can I not regret it? I am so confused.. it makes me want to cry. I mean.. I like him but I am so mean to him. He thinks I hate/highly dislike him. I tried to talk to him about it but my sister butts in and freaks out about it. She says I need to controll my anger. Guess what.. I have tried that for weeks and that is not the solution. I am not even angry. I just make spiteful comments. I should pray about it but it is hard alone. I need someone to help me along but all they do is push me away. I am in the middle of explaining myself and they avert their attention to eachother and act all lovestruck and stupid. I can honestly say I hate their attitudes but I still like/love them. Blah. Oi. I am digging myself a deep hole and I don't know how to get out. I need help...maybe some sort of therapy. Hehe..I am so confused.
 Ominous Lush · Sun Jan 28, 2007 @ 07:00am · 0 Comments |
