<center>Kiyoni rested one of her plump cheeks on her furry fist as she wrote in her journal:
Well, it seems as though the excitement that I'd craved for in wasn't exactly what I had wanted... There have been things going on inside of me that even I-the master of my own body, spirit, and mind- do not know. It's creepy... scary even. I don't know whether it's something that's supposed to happen to every teenage female or male when they get around this age, but it's really killing me.
I've noticed that I isolate myself a lot lately and I don't really smile as much as I normally would. It's like going into a state of depression, but I'm... I'm... happy. I'm afraid for myself and what's to become of me...
Me? I found that I'm different in more ways than one. One of them being my heart. What was this warm, accepting, trusting, loving, caring organ that lived behind my rib cage is now in that little red box with ice all around it, protecting it from decaying until it could be used again.
I know that if I still did have my heart, the one that gave joy to all of those around, that... that I wouldn't be writing this down... I'm scared... What's happening to me? I stare off into space and think about unnecessary things rather than entertain others who matter most to me.
If anyone could tell me what was wrong, I wish they would. I don't like having troubles... I've had a lot of problems... troubles, but none like this... Never any like this. I mean... Even when I SLEEP my thoughts continuously haunt me, never letting me wake up from that scary a** dream to even regain control over what slips in my head. It won't work at all! I would express the thoughts that are vexing my life, but I'd rather not put it on other's shoulders, and, boy, is it heavy.
She scratched the back of her neck, closed the journal, and clicked the ball pointed pen back inside of the plastic container filled with ink.
Sleepy time!
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Kiyoni Community Member |
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Community Member
Cheer cheer.