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Kiyoni's Journal This journal contains all of my personal thoughts on things that I cannot express to one's face or things that I cannot deal with that need to be unloaded.


Kiyoni
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4 comments
Well...
<center>Kiyoni rested one of her plump cheeks on her furry fist as she wrote in her journal:

Well, it seems as though the excitement that I'd craved for in wasn't exactly what I had wanted... There have been things going on inside of me that even I-the master of my own body, spirit, and mind- do not know. It's creepy... scary even. I don't know whether it's something that's supposed to happen to every teenage female or male when they get around this age, but it's really killing me.

I've noticed that I isolate myself a lot lately and I don't really smile as much as I normally would. It's like going into a state of depression, but I'm... I'm... happy. I'm afraid for myself and what's to become of me...

Me? I found that I'm different in more ways than one. One of them being my heart. What was this warm, accepting, trusting, loving, caring organ that lived behind my rib cage is now in that little red box with ice all around it, protecting it from decaying until it could be used again.

I know that if I still did have my heart, the one that gave joy to all of those around, that... that I wouldn't be writing this down... I'm scared... What's happening to me? I stare off into space and think about unnecessary things rather than entertain others who matter most to me.

If anyone could tell me what was wrong, I wish they would. I don't like having troubles... I've had a lot of problems... troubles, but none like this... Never any like this. I mean... Even when I SLEEP my thoughts continuously haunt me, never letting me wake up from that scary a** dream to even regain control over what slips in my head. It won't work at all! I would express the thoughts that are vexing my life, but I'd rather not put it on other's shoulders, and, boy, is it heavy.


She scratched the back of her neck, closed the journal, and clicked the ball pointed pen back inside of the plastic container filled with ink.

Sleepy time!






User Comments: [4]
kanbiwolf
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comment Commented on: Fri Feb 25, 2005 @ 09:36pm
Yeah, it's normal. It's happening to me and most others too.. unless they're unnaturally happy and just hide whatever sadness they have. If you have a way to relieve stress, well yeah. Mine is just to listen to sad songs and I sing or I cried once and yeah. So just figure out something to relieve you, but sometimes you can't help it. Like today I had a horrible day from the start and I wanted to go home and just cry, but I couldn't so I kept being sad/mad. Just try to cheer yourself up because it's always better.. no matter what anyone says.

Cheer cheer.


comment Commented on: Sat Feb 26, 2005 @ 08:50am
<center>Kanbi, if only you knew what I were talkin' 'bout... I wish I could tell you, and everybody else, but I really can't... And that's what makes it harder, because I can't express it.



Kiyoni
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kanbiwolf
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comment Commented on: Sat Feb 26, 2005 @ 04:33pm
Yeah but that's it. That's what I'm talking about, I'm talking about what you're talking about.


comment Commented on: Sun Feb 27, 2005 @ 12:08am
<center>If you say so. I'm not gonna put it pass you.

3nodding



Kiyoni
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User Comments: [4]
 
 
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