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Today was a total nightmare. This morning I woke up with a pounding headache, and my stomach hurt like hell. I had slept weird on my neck, so it hurt to turn my head straight. I had to put a bag of frozen peas on it for 15 minutes. I was forced to wear this pink belt thing with gems. Over my shirt, nonetheless. I hate the belt, but I wore it to make my mom happy. She loves it, apparently more than me.
I didn't ride the bus, but the Couches picked me up. The entire way to school, Mrs. Couch and Jaimie said nothing. Whenever I asked what was wrong at school, Jaimie's eyes would get a little puffy and she would say nothing. I'm really worried. Jaimie always tells me what's wrong.
I had to pretend nothing was wrong, regardless of the head and stomach aches. My mom thought I was faking to take medicine. She thinks I'm an obese minor drug addict.
Jaimie was a lot more herself in 2nd period. She even sung There's a Good Reason with me. I was happier then. She seemed almost back to normal, but her eyes looked off. Normally they're dark hazel, and today they were dark brown. It scared me. If anything happened to Jaimie......
We had a sub in 3rd period. He knew little about algebra. I got a lot of help from Amy and Aftab. I wish I had never gone into GT. Everyday Rachel or Sam or someone has to say I'm in it, and that makes me so much better than them. Screw it. It ends tomorrow.
Lunch was weird. All I remember is I asked Davis to watch my stuff. I still didn't feel good, and everyone was looking at me weird. They were all looking at me, and I couldn't stand it. All the rest I remember from lunch and advisory is going to the bathroom and crying. I only cried a little, and then I slapped myself twice, snapped a ponytail against my wrist 3 times, and ran to advisory. No one noticed my eyes were red.
I got a 93 on my test in English, and a 3+ on my essay. That cheered me up a little, but Annette wasn't there. I really wanted to tell Annette everything right then in 5th period, but she wasn't there. I pretended to be reading Fahrenheit 451 with the class, but I had already read ahead to the point we were at. I just stared at the words, making the letters twist to what I wanted. Eventually they spelled out 'Radio' and a bunch of lyrics. I had just written a song. Oh joy.
6th period was a blur. I can't remember anything but that Jaimie was normal- except for her eyes.
7th period was terrible. Everyone was staring at me again. I felt miserable. I smiled when Laura pointed out I was being conceded and laughed when Jaimie whacked me with her scarf. I hated it. I wanted to cover the piano with blood. I wanted to see the looks of horror on everyone's faces, the look of disappointment in Jaimie's abnormally dark eyes. I really wanted to.
But I did indeed sightread and sing do-fa-fa 30 times over. There was no piano drenching.
I got a shirt at Target. It's red with Spiderman on it. I'm wearing it tomorrow.
Laura's pissed at me, Jaimie's off, I hardly see Stephanie anymore, Sam's pulling away, Annette's not always there, Terra and I don't see each other much, and I sure as hell can't tell Davis anything. He's a pervert apparently, and I'd have to tell him that I like him to explain it all. And to top it all of, Mom and Hannah and Rachel are fighting, and Dad's out of town! Yippee!
Oh wow, Lois. At least no one can make you feel worse. You're already crying!
I don't want this to go on. This ends tomorrow.
-Lois
 LongWayHome · Fri Jan 26, 2007 @ 02:03am · 5 Comments |
