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Cool
first, unedited, give me your reveiw.
The Enterprise was in a quiet region of the galaxy, on a routine check-up the planet of Tigress. Not much was known about the inhabitants, but they had achieved space travel. It was the only class M planet in the general vicinity, and the planet had been out of touch with the federation for about a year. “Mr. Worf, hail the planet.” said Captain Picard. “No response.” Said Worf. “Captain, there is a system of caves on the planet’s surface that are about to explode” said Data. “Are there any life forms in or near the caves? Asked Captain Picard. “Just one sir.” said Data. “Bridge to engineering, transport the life form from the surface in the caves. Energize.” Said Captain Picard. Two seconds after he said that, the caves exploded with a force that could be seen from space. “Did we get him?” Asked Captain Picard. “We got her sir. And you may want to tell Doctor Crusher to come down here.” said Chief O’ Brian. “I’m on my way.” said Captain Picard. He stopped by sickbay, to get Dr. Crusher. “Doctor, we have a life form in transporter room three.” said The Captain. Dr. Crusher grabbed her med kit, and rushed to the transporter room.

When the pair got there, Chief O’ Brian was crouching behind his console. The life form was still on the transporter pad, in a small, fire-like encasing. Dr. Crusher rushed over, to read her life signs. “She’s alright; she’s just in a small bit of shock. She’s unconscious, and she can’t be much older than Wesley.” They transported the girl to sickbay, where she stayed for about a week, recuperating. “Where am I?” She asked, still a bit fuzzy. “You’re on the Starship Enterprise, of Starfleet. How are you feeling?” Asked Dr. Crusher. “Fine and I think I owe that to you.” Said the girl, sitting up slowly to not get dizzy. “Now that you are awake, and you seem to be fine, the Captain and the senior officers would like to speak with you. I’ll take you to the observation lounge.”

Going through the hallways and in the turbo lift, Dr. Crusher noticed that the girl seemed to show no fear, and she seemed to feel right at home. When the two of them walked through the door, it was apparent to the girl that she was expected. “Welcome to the Enterprise. I am The Captain of the ship. What is your name?” Asked Captain Picard. “My name is Bethany, and I have been banished from my village.” Said Bethany. “Banished? Is that why you were in those caves?” Asked Commander Riker. “Yes, and it is also why my people tried to kill me with those mediocre explosives. I thank you for rescuing me.” said Bethany. “What will you do now?” Asked Captain Picard. “Actually, I would like your permission to stay on this ship. It is obvious that my people do not want me on the planet.” Said the girl, noting the expressions on everyone’s faces were mixed. Captain Picard thought about it for only a moment. “Our rules say that we cannot deny you safe passage. All that is left to say is welcome to the Enterprise.”


Red Roses in December
Community Member
Red Roses in December
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  • User Comments: [3]
    Hay, that's you! You got kicked off your planet crying .
    Why?
    It was nice, I'm not a star treack person myself, but I like your stories and so I give you 10 points out of 3. Yay, that's like 333%. or an A+++.
    Their's my review.

    comment whitethorn · Community Member · Thu Jan 18, 2007 @ 07:21pm
    I love comments so here's another one.
    I love how you use the word "Welcome" in the last sentence to let the audience stay in the story even when their done reading. The story hooks onto our lives and makes us incompleit and enthusiastic for the next cronicle.
    Nice grammaticle skeme usage mrgreen
    Wow, this made my inteligant side happy. It's good to stop joking around an be 'inteligante' every once and a wile.
    I think being your critic is good for me!

    comment whitethorn · Community Member · Sat Jan 20, 2007 @ 02:32am
    Sorry I'm an Original series, Spock and Kirk, type of trekkie.
    Good job!

    comment WingsofNemesis · Community Member · Sun Feb 25, 2007 @ 02:26am
    User Comments: [3]

     
     
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