February 17, 2005
Josh asked me out last night. He's had a crush on me like, ever since he saw me. But I was always with Kaz so I wouldn't go out with him. Since Kaz won't unblock me I said yes to him. I just know when my other friends figure out I'm going out with him they'll think it's stupid. They don't like him because he acts silly in chat rooms and stuff, and kind of makes himself look like a fool. But I know him in real life and real life is different. I doubt it will last very long. He's always going from girl to girl. It seems like he has a new girlfriend constantly, so I don't expect this to be anything serious. The problem is is that I still love Kaz. I wish I didn't. That's always the problem. I went out with Ben last summer, but I still loved Kaz, and I didn't really know how to really be a girlfriend in real life, since I'd been with someone online for so long. So me and Ben only lasted two weeks. So I'm sure when Josh figures out that I suck at being a girlfriend it won't last. I just wish Kaz would unblock me. That's all I want. I'm thinking about ditching a lot of my online friends. I already ditched one today, but I'd been rather pissed at him for a while anyway since he became friends with someone I hate very much. He wasn't any help with getting Kaz to unblock me, and didn't really try very much, so I just exploded on him. I suspect he blocked me too, but I don't care. Rico is so annoying, I'm wondering if I should be friends with him anymore either. I'm certainly not going to go out of my way to talk to him. Yeah I just hate people. They piss me off. And I'm sick of all the guys who constantly want to get with me. They all want me, but they're not serious, and don't stick around. Kaz is the only one who ever stuck around, and then he gets pissed after this long, all he did was drag things out and waste my life by acting like he was serious. That Scott guy IMed me today. He still wants to go out with me. His brother IMed me too, trying to get me to go out with him. But I'd already said yes to Josh, and I know Josh in real life, and I don't know Scott in real life, and I'm sick of fake online relationships.
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