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today i hate myself more than ever the lonelyness is seting in the pain is rush in as well i hate being a loner and when you read this youll think she crazy she has many friends,yes on gaia not at home mabye 2 true friends but thats it i push my self away so many times i cant stop i dont know how.it hurts.i come home just to be alone i have no one to love me. no brothers,sisters,not even a boyfriend,i feel even worse at school people ******** me up in the head,and pick on me to no end for years. i want to kill almost all of them. seeing people happy when im not makes me sick and angry,thanks to them im a pyhopath that feels the need to hide every thing how i feel what i want to say even another me. the reason im puting this in here if i dont let this out i may do something ill regeat so here i am wolowing in my sadness again. something tells me this wouldent hurt as bad if i ever had a boyfriend and now that i think about it theres three people on here i like that way but theyd think im crazy cuz i just met them.the thing is i attach easyer than most so when ur soooooo nice to me i cant help it but ill never say there names on here i have some self respect even if my selfasteam is in the trash the only way theyll know is if they ask me them selves and if they can push the words out of me i may choke seeing as being very shy doesnt help any god some times i wish i could just fall off a cliff.and if my friends read this part they r so going to kill me but sometimes i lie to get items for my friends i just had to say it so if you read this and think hey she said she had a boyfriend and i gave her a item 4 his bday i ******** tricked u you can tell when i lie when it takes me for ever to send back unless im talking to other people at the same time and no you cant have the item back cuz i dont ******** have it ok!dont mind me im just having a brake down over here! this makes me wish i have more friends.it seem like i alway wear a mask to hiding myself hoping it doesnt brake.but my porfile every thing is true on there and i dont lie to my firends but most other people i do when it comes to my fellings. im going to try and get more gold to get a bow for my head i look funny without one.
 okami oni · Thu Dec 28, 2006 @ 12:11pm · 5 Comments |
