Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Zizzy hates you
What I happen to be thinking
bleh
I've been feeling kinda depressed lately. I really don't know why. I know part of it was because my cat was sick but now she's okay and I'm still feeling a tad depressed. I've not the faintest idea why now though. My cat is all better and there really isn't anyting major going on that would have me sad.

I've done some pretty good pictures while in my depressed state so when I finally get my scanner fixed I'll post them here for those of you who actually read this.

I'm finally getting some orders in my ai art shop which is good and I'm done with most of the pictures but my scnner is broke so I can't send them.

I got an anatomy book from my dad as an early Christmas present so I'm hoping that will help with proportion more.

I still need to do all ym Christmas shopping too. Hopefully I can do that this weekend. I really don't like having this many things undone.

I think I'll go look up my horoscope for tommorrow. I've been keeping track of it lately so I have known my horoscope for the past few days.

I feel like I've been having to try too hard to seem happy the past few days. I hope this funk passes soon. I don't like ebing depressed since I'm naturally a happy person so I feel like I need to bo happy for my friends sometimes since they are used to me being happy all the time. I guess I feel like I've got the weight pof the world on my shoulders right now.

For a while I thought I had some sort of multiple personality disorder but I'm thinking it may come with being a Gemini. I feel very close to my sign and the symbol of Gemini is the twins so I guess it may have to do with that but I'm really not sure.

I guess this entry was kinda like an update on my life. Read if you want. I really done care. I just don't feel like I have the will to do anything lately.






User Comments: [2] [add]
squkyshoes
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Dec 15, 2006 @ 05:31am
Which one was sick!?! Since you got a present from your dad it means your not going to visit... again. I've been depressed lately too. It's becuase I've been realizing that no matter what I do or say I am still unnoticed, unheard, unaccnowledged. I'm always seen as "the girl who is in my class." Even my friends are treating me like crap. They don't invite me to go anywhere, they don't tell me what they're talking about, they have all these inside jokes and i don't know what they are talking about. They conslatly make jokes about me in front of my face. And even though I now it's a joke it still hurts. They've been ignoreing me too. I try to say something when it's dead quiet and they start talking over me, even though they know I'm trying to talk. One of them was putting her hand in front of my face whrn I was trying to say something. It's like they've tuned me out. When anyone else in our little group has a problem, they try to console them and offer solutions for their problwm. For me, they don't even ask me why I'm looking so sad. If I do try to tell them my problem one of them goes, "Natalie, noone cares about your stupid problems." And them treating me like this is making me more unhappy and more shy. Even Andrea has been ignoring me. She found a new best friend and she hangs out with her best freind's friends. She doesn't invite me anywhere anymore, she only invites her best freind and her other friends. In the one class we have together (Spanish) I wanted to do the group project with her and my other friend. She was all like "But I'm doing the project with Sydney." I said, "why can't the four of us do it together?" Andrea was all like "Err." and she looked away. I've thought about it the last week and I realized that only you, Anna (from elementary school), and Andrea are the only ones who ever called me up and invited me to go somewhere. None of my middle school friends did that with me. Andrea, Anna, and you brung out the happy, fun-loving, hyper side of me. We didn't care what people thought of us no matter how stupid we looked when we were fooling around in public, just as long as we were having fun. We could show eachother our interests without fear of being made fun of. None of my middleschool/highschool friends knows I like anime. (unless they saw the Yotsuba book in my backpack) My middleschool/highschool friends bring out the shy, quiet, reserved, follower side of me. I don't like this side of me. So now that I've had a good cry while writing this I'm going to go post it on mysapce after I get all my freinds as buddies on there.


commentCommented on: Sat Dec 16, 2006 @ 01:41am
Wow, You know if you ever need to talk about stuff like this you can call me or PM me. I've realized that too and I guess I never thought you could be shy since you always seemed to lead our little group. (well I was kind of the leader too but I more dictated from the side-lines)

That sucks your friends are treating you like crap. If I still lived there I promise I wouldn't ditch you! >.< You kept me going in elementary school! We were practiacally inseperable and I thought Andrea would be one of the last people treating you badly. She always seemed to be a bit of a peacemaker between us since we kind of argued a lot. Never ended up being much though.

Riley was the one that was sick by the way. She's better now though. and I will still come visit! I will hitch rides all the way there if I really have to! Either that or I can wait 'till Kat gets her learner's permit and make her take me since she's wanted to meet you for a while.

I wish I was there with you to give you a hug. It sounds like you really need one.

Whatever happened to Anna anyway? She started going to a idfferent school and we never really heard from her again.

You can't forget about Allyson either! She may live in CHicago but she was still our friend!

Well as soon as I get the chance I'll come see you and catch up a bit more.

You just need to remember, even though I live a state away and haven't seen you since June I think, I still love you like a sister! >.<



Zizzykitty
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum