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little black book
if you seek my innermost thoughts, they can be found in the pages of this journal.
Ever have one of those days when literally everything goes wrong and you want to give up on life...love...everything? Well today was one of those days. I lost my best friend and everything else all in the span of an hour. Well ******** it. I can't take anything anymore. The pain digs deep under my skin until I just can't stand it. If there was some way to reverse what I said and did...if only there was some way to stop today from happening.

I hurt someone who meant the world to me...and there's nothing I can do about it. Marcus...I'm sorry. That's partially why I did what I did...to stop anything...everything...before things went further. But it still hurts. I can't help thinking I made the wrong decision...and now you're gone for good. I hate myself for all of this, and I'll miss you like nothing else. I'm sorry and goodbye.

As for everyone else, don't be suprised if I'm moody when I get back to school on monday. It's just too much to handle. A sickness that wont let up, a heartache that should never have existed, and all the weighty guilt that hangs on my shoulders.

I could've had it all...what was I thinking? I don't know...just trying to figure things out I guess. Well it doesn't really matter anymore, does it....


SonicBeauty
Community Member
  • [04/01/05 07:54am]
  • [03/14/05 01:48am]
  • [03/03/05 06:41pm]
  • [02/21/05 10:54pm]
  • [02/20/05 05:04pm]
  • [02/17/05 11:38pm]
  • [02/16/05 09:40pm]
  • [02/14/05 10:24pm]
  • [02/14/05 04:37am]
  • [02/13/05 10:53pm]


  • User Comments: [8]
    don't you worry about it everything will be fine

    comment Tenshi Goddess · Community Member · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 03:12am
    maddam...you are nice...but you are flipping insane if you think that everything is really going to work itself out anytime soon.

    comment SonicBeauty · Community Member · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 04:11am
    *laughs* i never said it would but i'm saying things will be okay for you later on in life

    comment Tenshi Goddess · Community Member · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 04:16am
    i've been there...it will be ok, in the end everything comes together...

    comment Lord Fitz · Community Member · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 07:44pm
    Marcus?...

    comment dragon-file · Community Member · Sun Feb 06, 2005 @ 09:57pm
    Yea.........im marcus go figure.and you thought i was lieing a short stop* shakes his head and walks off*

    comment Shiro No Ookami-Shiro Ena · Community Member · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 05:26am
    Okay....I'm confused.......really!
    But, I'm willing to help!
    But, you gotta tell me whats going on first!!! sweatdrop xp

    comment NowhereMan0012002 · Community Member · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 05:18pm
    I'll tell ya what. When life isn't bein' nice it isn't a good thing to not be nice back to it... since things seem to be very bad you could always try and make it very good. As in, not dwelling on the things that hurt and instead thinking of the good times or plans you have for the future. I suggest sitting down with a good book or your sketch pad or a canvas and your paints. Good luck Mel and try and not dwell on those things that you are. heart

    comment TimothyLaSalle · Community Member · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 08:50pm
    User Comments: [8]

     
     
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