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My Life inside and out of this game
Im sorry Im sorry im sorry
I broke my promise not to long ago and im sorry.. Im hurting all of you and its not right of me... I said no i promised a knife wouldnt go across my skin but it did and it hurt but i couldnt stop... im sorry but the sight of blood made my heart jump and i cut deeper... Its only one cut but i cut it deeper then any other cuts i have made.... one simple touch and it starts to bleed like mad.. im sorry im sorry but it couldnt be helped.. i couldnt take it... the worse thing is is two days after this happened i looked for the knife... when i couldnt find it i found a box cutter... there were streams of blood going down my leg... streams.. im sorry im so horrible.. i hate myself for breaking a promise.. for being so weak.. for breaking everyones trust... im so weak and so tired.. i wanna be happy all the time.. i want to cant anyone make me happy cant anyone take me away from this coldness.. i need help but i cant ask you for it.. i betrayed you.. im a horrible friend...im sorry


Ishira Tsubasa
Community Member
  • [03/20/12 10:27am]
  • [04/19/11 03:32am]
  • [01/08/10 10:20pm]
  • [03/12/09 09:23pm]
  • [01/02/09 09:58pm]
  • [03/22/08 05:54am]
  • [03/03/08 07:05pm]
  • [01/29/08 11:18pm]
  • [12/27/07 04:16am]
  • [12/05/07 08:49am]


  • User Comments: [3]
    Auntie! Ok, I won't tell you to stop, that wouldn't work. But what I will tell you is that that you CAN pull through, if you wanna be happy, then be happy! No one is keeping you from being happy. What I know about cutting yourself is that it's just a way for people to know they are still there, that they're not just a dream. Or it's their way of coping with things that have happened or is happening. I've cut before... and it scared me but it did feel good, I'll admit that. Please, I'm begging you with all I've got, stay away from the major veins! I know it feels good, feels good to see the blood, to feel the pain, to smell the blood... I know. But please, don't cut to deeply and don't cut major veins... and your NOT a horrible friend! It's something that you can't help! I'd rather you cut yourself then completly kill yourself, and you don't need to ask for my help, you already have it... I love you, and I always will. I'm gonna have to take you during lunch sometime and we're gonna have a talk, it doesn't have to be about this, but about anything, anything you wanna talk about. And you can't get out of it! And Largo will just have to deal with not having you around for at least ONE lunch! OK? Take care, and I'll see you Monday. Later...

    comment Krishna230 · Community Member · Sat Feb 05, 2005 @ 01:21am
    Cutting isn't just something you can quit. I know that it's hard to stop, but there is help out there and I'm not just going all psychiatrist on you. If you want to stop, if your scared, if you need to get out, talk to me because I know where to get you help. I'm serious - just PM me or something, ok ?

    comment S3htek · Community Member · Sat Feb 05, 2005 @ 02:55am
    Look, Ishira. You and I have been through a lot of this crap together, and I know that it is hard, but the thing that I've come to realize is that it doesn't feel good anymore. You tell me that you believe that Katsimoto is using me, but it's him that is keeping me sane. The reason that it doesn't feel good to me anymore is because I feel that if I let it feel good that I would let him down. You are also a reason that I don't do that anymore. Since you and I made that promise, both of us have broken it, but (and this I swear by) I also don't do it because I know that I'm hurting you when I do. I love you like the big sis that I never had, and I think that you know that. Don't take this as me bugging you or being mean, but I think that you should feel guilty at least a little bit that you are still doing this, even though you have all of these friends, me and Largo expecially. You know that we both love you, and I think that that should come in to play. If you wanna cus me out cause of this post, go ahead and PM me, kay?

    comment Katsika · Community Member · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 07:22pm
    User Comments: [3]

     
     
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