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I feel like everything is out of my control and that I'm the only one who gives a damn about it. Everynight I have dreams of things I really want to do but never ever will, or at least not for awhile. I feel bad for wanting things but also terrible for not telling anyone. No one seems to believe me whatever I say, and everyone acts like I only do things other people want. Lately everytime I open up it some how goes wrong and I feel like a moron for saying anything in the first place. Also I keep feeling guilty for no reason sometimes and others like I could do anything without it having a single affect on me. Also for no reason I've been wnating to do every bad thing in life I can think of. I've been getting urges to drink, smoke, do drugs, run away, steal the car and go party. I don't know why either. Now I feel terrible because of these stupid urges.