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I'm glad no one really reads this anymore because there's something I feel I have to say, getting something clear I don't have alot of friends, only a few I can trust because I have to admit it I am a loner by choice I like my own company and I don't think people who know me actually get me beacause I'm actually quite a complicated person.
I'm a loner to the point where I'll want to spend most of my time alone and now and again I'll reach out for some form of company, whether it's just someone sitting next me (just feeling their presence) or actually speaking. Now even though I'm like this I'm still as nice as possible to other people (raised with consideration and stuff) but ironically I trust people I believe that people are mainly good (or at least have some good) and I normally see people's good points before their bad.
Even though I still trust people are generally good I'm afraid I'm beginning to shut myself off from other people (if that makes sence) and the thought of that terrifies me. I don't even talk to kit and Rachel I'm just kiddish and bubbly (which in some cases I feel it so I go with it and it sometimes is just a front I need to stay happy otherwise I become really low, I know this sounds weird that I need this front to stay happy but as I said before I'm a complicated person. I'm much deeper then other think and I remember the last time me, rach and kit were together they told me I hadn't changed at all but the truth was I had they just weren't looking, they didn't see me behind my front, sometimes ........ I don't think they ever will.)
My parents who understand me better tell me how mature and wise I am (I know I don't see it either confused ) but when I asked they said that incases I hadn't noticed I'll sometimes say very wise things that they haven't taught and that I had actually taught myself.
 ~Celtic Rose~ · Thu Nov 23, 2006 @ 01:30pm · 3 Comments |
