Okay, so I'm still kinda in a state of shock. xD Here's why:
I recently found a super awesome thread
The Realm of Insanity, and I've fallen in love with that community of people. They are so incredibly awesome and wonderful in every single way!! I love them so much; they are exactly like family and friends to me. I can't get enough of this place!
So . . . there's this guy. Rogue Seraphim, aka Jamie. We met in this thread, and he gave me his YM name, and we talked on there for a few days. At first I thought that I was just annoying him, like I generally think that I do to people because I'm socially inept and everything . . . but then I realized that I have like, a major crush on him. I mean, he likes Star Wars, Star Trek, Furuba, pretty much all the same things that I like, and he's sweet and funny and intelligent and everything . . ..
I was kinda torn up at the time because I kept thinking that he was shunting me aside for this other girl that had a crush on him as well. So I told one of my friends, TanyaDawn about it and she basically told me that I HAD to tell him what I felt or else I'd be tearing myself up about it for WEEKS. I was too chicken to actually do it, but because of Tanya's (not so) gentle urging, I started to gather up my courage and put away my chickenness. xD I wanted to tell him over messenger, and even made plans to do so yesterday morning, but when I saw him on, I just kinda froze, and played around in the thread instead, even though he was there as well. It was just easier than talking on messenger, cause when we're there, we just kinda play around and have a ton of fun. And it's not just the two of us.
sweatdrop So, I finally broke down and gathered up my courage yesterday, and I sent him a PM saying that I had a crush on him, did he maybe feel the same way? (Thank GOD for Tanya and Bellerosa or I would never have had the strength to go through with it). Then I had to leave for class, and I could barely focus in math at all (thank GOD we didn't have that test or I would have bombed it for SURE). Then I got back online after class, and waited nervously for his reply. Tanya and I talked about it, but each time I saw that PM notification, I got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach like dread or something . . . but it was just me being nervous about it. Cause I've never really done that before . . . especially not online. Though it's almost easier to do it online, because I'm not so afraid of face-to-face rejection, especially with this group of people. But that's another entry for another time.
So Tanee had just written back to me, and I notice that there's a PM from Rogue there as well, and I don't wanna open it, but I do, but I don't and I'm all jumbled up inside . . . and well, to make a long story short (too late! xD): HE LIKES ME TOO!!
whee whee whee whee I still can't believe it. I'm in shock. I'm so happy I don't know whether to laugh or cry!! To quote my friend Cassandra Sybilla: "I'm happy enough to s**t a muffin!"
whee I want to dance in circles and make funny noises and glomp everyone in sight! This has seriously never happened to me before! Finally, FINALLY I find someone that returns my feelings! Of course, he's a whole continent away, but let's not get tied up in minor details.
I could just float away in a cloud of happiness! xD
