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right so being the weird person that i know you all know i am... i have done something... weird... and compleatly out of the normal for me... usualy im a rather quiet person in public... i just shut up and deal...
ither way... i worked a show called Dark of The Moon by Howard Richardson& William Berney for the past few weeks.... and for those who know Kelly Egan was the Stage Manager or SM and Theressa was the assistant stage manager or ASM ither way... i have had a thing for kelly for about a year and half now... its normaly been more of a quiet admeration for most of the time ive known her. however after spending weeks on end seeing her each day i began to realize there was a reasion why i studder when i speak to her or look a way when she glances my why.... i like her... so i told baron about it and he told me shed never like me... wich is probaly true.... ither way i was upset about it and Terrie noticed mostly because i was getting pissed at her for EVERYTHING... so ither way... i ended up telling terrie everything that was upseting me after she poked me with a wooden knife and a musle loading rifle... im not jokeing... anyway... and she told me baron was probaly right but in the words of Dan "you never know untill you try" so she told me to ask and see what happens... well i did...
i told kelly that i didnt want me asking this to make anything ocward between us as profetionals and as friends then i told her that i admierd her rather greatly that i thought she was intellegant funny and beautiful and that i would greatly appricheate it if she would tell me if i had a chance with her...
Kelly said that there was no chance right now... because she is not over summer heart break with karina... that she adored me as a friend and thanked me for telling her while she huged me... to be honest i have no idea what that means... though sevral people say i have a chance... so i keep telling my self that... and intend on asking her again after shes had some time to heal from getting hurt... i dont know if it would work out... but... id love to try it.. and ither way... shes my SM for romeo and julet anywa... so we have to work togethere.. especialy because im the ASM.... i love theater though... i dont feel scared to be me there... everywhere else im scared that ill be rejected... there i dont feel that way... i do my job and i smile and let my self be myself... its great and i love it... its what i want to do... and i will be doing it... wether my father likes it or not... it will all be okay...
ither way... thats what i did... and for the first time in 6 months... i feel good again... im not hideing the urge to cry every ten minuets and i can laugh freely... im just not scared anymore.... its nice... ither way... im gona go now... and re type something like this in myspace... latters all.
 Verin · Wed Nov 15, 2006 @ 10:47pm · 2 Comments |
