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so what am I doing in Vancouver? I mean the main reason I came down was to see Roni again, but that just seems to hurt me because she still wants to be with another man that treats her badly. That's what hurts me the most I think, if all she tells me is the truth why does she choose him over me? Perhaps it's best that we just stay friends, but a part of me wants to still be with her, and with her so near and stuff it makes it hard for me. I have a lot of friends back home and stuff to do, and I might even have work there which I don't here, so why do I stay? Yes I have friends here, but we hardly hang out anymore, the only person I really spend time with is Roni, and I just seem to feel hurt and stuff when she goes off to see Jaxon, because she's basically replaced me with him, and I can't figure out why, I never thought I was that bad a boyfriend, I never cheated, I always did what she wanted, I would have given the world to make her happy, he's cheated on her and he doesn't treat her well at all from what she tells me, so my mind always wonders, why? Why is all this happening, why did my life have to spiral out of control? why isn't there anything set and concrete anymore, it seems like whenever I'm happy now it's just a fleeting thing, nothing seems to last, and I've been so lonely.

Oh well life's a b***h and then you die I guess.