Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I said we'd keep no secrets, I said I would tell you everything. So why is it just now that I can't. I try to wait for the "right time" but it never comes. I think of some kind of way that I can describe to you what I want to say, but my mind goes blank. So I have resolved to tell you everything, as soon as I'm ready. One day, I will be. For now, I'm writing it all down here so I won't forget, and if I ever truely need you to know everything, then I'm sure it must be easier to say "read my Gaia Journal" than to say everything that I've said in this journal already. I had a dream that freaked me out so bad that the next time I tried to go to sleep, I had an anxiety attack because I didn't want to dream again. I hardly remember the first part. I think it was Halloween and I was a guy. A guy friend of mine had dared me to go as a Gay guy. We were trick or treating on Main Street and as I was dared (or I lost a bet, I'm not sure which) I acted and sounded gay and everything. I got a lot of guys' phone numbers, but I didn't want them because I wasn't interested in guys. So I gave all the phone numbers to my friend. Then it was time to go and suddenly I was myself, dressed like a hippy. My family pulled up in a white van with colorful flowers painted on it, also dressed like Hippies. They told me to climb in and so (leaving my friend behind I guess because I don't remember him there after I changed into myself) I climbed in. I asked where we where going and my mom, all of a sudden not dressed as a hippy but as a skelington, said we were going to have a picnic in the cemetary with Grandma. Well I knew my Grandma was dead so I assumed that we were just going to have a picnic next to her grave. We arrived at the cemetary and sat on a bench next to 2 swimming pools with huge fences around them. One was a grimmy black and green color and the other right next to it, was large and sparkly blue, surrounded by sand and sunshine and looked like a beach, but it was very crowded. Logan and Cody immidiatly ran to the beach pool, suddenly in their swimming trunks. I don't know how they got around the fence, but they were soon lost in the crowd of people. This didn't seem to concern my mom, back in her hippy costume, who was busy setting up the picnic and told me not to worry about them, their were plenty of people looking out for their well being and to just go swim and when I was done, she would be ready. So I went to go swim, the beach was too crowed for me, and the small green and black slimmy pool was completely empty so I decided to go swim in that pool. I walked up to it and when I walked to the edge, and looked down into it, I thought the pool people must have suddenly cleaned it up, because although it wasn't as beautiful as the beach, it wasn't as bad as it had been so I dived it. (still in my hippy cloths) My eyes were closed until I bumped into something underwater. I opened my eyes and saw nothing my green and my eyes burned. I quickly swam to the surface and looked around me in horror as I now sat in the middle of the green and black slimmy pool with bodies of the dead floating around me. I paniced and swam to the pools edge and climbed out but when I looked back at the pool it was as clean as it had been before I entered and I was dry as if I had never dived in. When I backed away, the pool became green and black again, but no bodies could be seen as they were before. I cried because I thought I was going insaine and I ran into the beach like pool to rinse off even though I wasn't dirty and then dried myself with a towel. Everyone was stairing at me, smiling, but I didn't pay any attention. I walked back to the picnic spot. There was all the food, but my mom was gone. I sat down on the bench next to my Grandma's grave and started eating, when suddenly a boy I don't know sat next to me. He asked me if I knew anything about this cemetary. I told him that I didn't, and he said to me " They say the bodies won't stay in the ground and if you stare at the ground where a body is burried, it will come up." I became really scared but couldn't help but look at the spot my Grandma was burried. I stared and not long after the ground became unearthed and an old, half decayed hand with wrinkly skin hanging from the finger tips emerged. I screamed at backed away, but the boy smiled and told me that she was getting old and you could tell by the wrinkles. I started screaming at him like it was all his fault and told him to stop the bodies from rising, because my Dad was burried there and I didn't want anything to happen to him. Then I ran to my Dad's grave only to see him crawing from it. He looked like he was dead, but I could hear his voice begging me to help him and forgive him and keep the bugs off of him and how I needed to roll up the window because he liked the warmth, it felt good. I yelled at the boy and pushed him down then I ran to my Dad and picked him up. I was screaming to everyone that this couldn't be happinging, that my dad was creamated, he didn't even have a body! I demaded to know what was going on and people continued to smile at me like nothing was wrong. So I ran back to his grave and I threw his body back inside, and as I heard him hit the bottom I woke up and felt like I was going to be sick. That's why I have to go see him today. I have to go check on his grave. I know that everything is probably fine, but maybe it will help to see it for myself. I'm just so scared to have another nightmare like that. Luckily last night, I didn't dream at all.