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Ok ok lets see lets see... Ive been talking about a lot of bad things lately... i geuss i should update.

My sister and i are getting along now.. but its kinda late......

Umm i had another blackout so im very, confused.... At least at the moment.. I Feel kinda... Blank.

Oh my ex was all bitchy.. Some one told him im flirting witha bunch of guys... which all i know is that theres one person i really flirt with... Well anyways so its been proven that this statement was wrong and i wanted to know wo told him... But i kinda Bitched him out.. I didnt like the fact that he accused me of such things and then started bitching about other things... See i still like him, but i know we cant be together so ive been "distant" as he calls it... But to me ive been around the people that love and care for me... He was gone for most the summer so he doesnt know all the crap thats been happening.. I naturally have been leaning on other people and if this is "flirting" then i geuss its not right to wanna be loved in a way... Im the kinda person that looks at the whole picture, not just the small fight that makes a puzzle peice cause i know that small fights are the cause of something else... I noticed hes been trying to make me jealous ((working pretty damn well i might add)) and well its kinda hurting me... He basically told this girl he was falling for her but it was my fault that he wouldnt be with her... heh..... that pissed me off

So in my letter to him i basically asked if my "friend" had told him anything about how my life had been going while he was gone and how i only wanted to be in the arms of some one who loved me and even though people have asked me out i have told them no because i cant trust anyone.... im waiting for his response....