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September 3, 2006
Last night was horrible. Kaz got mad at me over something stupid. I don't know why he even gets mad over these things, he can't ever talk to me calmly about something, and he doesn't care how what he does bothers me sometimes. He doesn't care about how I feel about anything. And he thinks I'm going to cause him to fail and thinks that's a good reason to break up with me, when his classes haven't even started and it isn't my fault he plays video games all the time. x.x It isn't all me, but he never sees that. I do one thing and it's all my fault, that's how it always is with him. I hate when he's mad at me, it just makes me feel so awful, like I don't want to do anything anymore. More than anything I want to make him happy, I want him to be happy with me and I want to be with him, in whatever way possible. Everything is just so difficult all the time. Well at least he didn't go to college yet, he's going tomorrow now. I went with my mom today to her friend Mary's house. She just moved to a new house, and it's in one of those lame gated subdivisions. The sidewalk isn't even gated so people can just walk in anyway... I don't see the point of those, just something to slow you down if you're in a hurry. Well they have a neighborhood pool there so we were going to go swimming. But it was raining like it does everyday. I just said we should swim in the rain, what does it matter if you're getting wet anyway? My mom was afraid of the lightning though, which there wasn't much of or I wouldn't have suggested that. We finally went, after waiting around forever. It was still a bit rainy. The water was cold of course. I hate cold water, but I went in anyway. I didn't go all the way and sit around there that long to not go swimming. We didn't stay in long though. Mary said a lot of kids use the pool and I can't stand swimming in pools where kids swim. I hate public pools but never get to swim anywhere else since we don't have a pool. But if it's used by a whole lot of kids that's even worse. Makes me feel dirty. So I got out soon after that. Kind of a wasted trip. I got online on their computer after that and then downloaded AIM because my mom wanted her to have it so she could talk to her. XD But I don't think she can figure out how to use it. Maybe Bobby will figure it out. They have like five cats so I was playing with them while waiting around also. After that we left, but we stopped to get dinner at this place called Zaxby's. The thing about Zaxby's is my parents are obsessed with that place, but they never had any here, they were all in Georgia so we could only go when we went on vacation. But Mary told my mom about a new one that just opened here so my mom just had to go. And it's really my dad who's more obsessed with it but he's in Miami so we went without him. XD My mom thought it'd be funny to leave the cups and the leftovers in the box in the fridge so my dad could find them tomorrow and wonder how we went there since he doesn't even know about it. After that we finally got home, and I was able to talk to Kaz some about Flyff at least.
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