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You know… I never thought I’d be back here on Gaia online, but here we are. After over a year of trying to get my account back, here we are. Sitting here, writing this journal entry while we both look back at where we started and look at where we’re going.

There’s a part of me that’s glad I hung onto this account. It’s 21 years old now eek I remember Gaia in its heyday. I also remember the day we clocked 1 million users online at once back in 2007. That was a really exciting time. I’m also having to get used to the slower way thighs are here. Not just because this is a website from the 2000’s and things were at break neck speed as they are today, but because not many people use this site anymore. 99.9% of the people on my friends list haven’t logged on in YEARS. Oddly enough, I’m rather ok and at peace with all of this. Even though it’s considered to be a relic of the past, Gaia still finds a way to keep going. And I find that to be oddly inspiring. I do miss being able to use flash games. I’m going to see if I can find a way to get Waterfox to work on my iPad. The laptop is in the shop right now due to a little whoopsie that happend the other night. In short, thank god replacement screens exist sweatdrop

So what’s happened since I last logged into Gaia? I met my husband back in 2013 at a my little pony convention here in Canada, we got married in 2018, I’ve changed jobs 3 times (currently working on #4), hubs and I went to Japan in Dec 2019 (painfully close to the start of the pandemic), caught the original version of the COVID-19 virus at the beginning of the pandemic and survived (-20/10 do not recommend), got a few tattoos, made fiends, let people go, had some experiences happen to me that I’m still exploring, did a bit of traveling, went to lots of conventions, shows, and concerts, got to meet some of my idols, and I even started seeing a therapist back in July. Therapy has been going really well for me. I’ve had a few minor breakthroughs, one major breakthrough, and I got really lucky in my choice of therapist too. I’m also working on reading tarot cards amongst other things. And I even developed a really cool nail art hobby that I’ve been plugging away at for the past 9 years. I now own over 150 bottles of nail polish, about 60+ stamping plates, thousands and thousands of Swarovski nail crystals, and an Instagram profile filled with my work. Overall, I’m quite proud of how far I’ve come, what all I’ve done, and where I’m going with my life. It hasn’t been easy but the struggles have made me appreciate the good moments even more. I’m pretty lucky that way. And I’m also painfully aware that not everyone gets to have the same kind of luck that I do. For those folks, I do what I can to be kind, because the gods only know how much the world needs kindness right now.

In spite of of how dark the world is nowadays, I’ve still managed to find ways to hang onto hope. With the amount of s**t I’ve been through in my life, I’m not going to let the darkness stop me. It’s tried many, many times over the years yet I’m still here kicking a**, taking numbers, and being kind. I’m also a rather rebellious person. If kindness is seen as a sin, evil, and shameful, then I will gladly continue to buck the system and keep being kind. Kindness is punk as ********. And I’ll keep giving it like the little s**t disturber I’ve always been 3nodding