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I fell in love with a boy. It's silly. So silly. He's got a girlfriend. So do I. I can't see him cuz he lives too far away. It's stupid. I'm stupid. I fall so hard for people and I'm so ******** unbearably needy that I feel like I push people away. I can't help but feel like I shouldn't have let myself get attached like this.

But he's so sweet. And silly. And charming. And funny. And precious. And just...... Dreamy. I feel like a schoolgirl with some puppylove crush. All I do is think about him tracing hearts around his name in my notebook. When I can't talk to him I just think about him, and when that becomes too unbearable I sleep so he can hold me in my dreams. I try to be good, I try not to be "too much" but all I want -- all I need -- is to have his eyes turned on me, to be the focus of his attention.

I'm such an idiot but it's hard to care about that.