Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

been too long since I updated my journal. I need to get back on my grind. A lot has happened. A lot I wish hadn't happened. I opened pandora's box but it needed to be open at this point. Dealing with this lowly, childish bullshit is beneath me. I reacted poorly and that's something I'll have to live with going forward. I apologized, I took the steps to explain myself and nothing changed. Not that I expected it to. All of my expectations fell on that maybe we might be able to have an actual conversation afterwards and come to a genuine conclusion. Which in sorts, we actually did. We will never be on common ground. He will continue to see himself as the prodigal son that can do no wrong. So be it. If someone can't admit their faults, admit that they're wrong, then there's no place in my life for them and vice versa. All it does is damage us both but one wants to heal from it while the other wants to continue denying it.
His father is a conundrum to say the least. He makes excuses for him at the same time as admonishing his behavior. It was only when the anger and lies were directed at himself that anything was talked about. Though I will say that he did mediate the most recent conversation. Though, even when talking, admitting that the opposite party has faults, has proof of their own transgressions that run parallel, it was not brought up. He can't help it, it's in his blood, it's in their blood. They do not like confrontation and they both will do anything to avoid it at all costs. The only difference is the one with more time on this Earth will admit that but will not do anything to remedy it. He wallows in his self pity and his disdain for the opposite gender, it'd be more disgusting if it wasn't so damn funny. Ironic, really. To not be able to look inwards and see why you're so lonely. See why you've pushed everyone away and then blame them for your bullshit.
The proof is in their genetics, their very being. Again, the difference being one can admit that they dislike confrontation while the other, can't even admit that confrontation exists. There is no conflict when you know you're the one that's always right. It's a product of having always gotten what you want. What he lacks in introspection, he makes up for in denial. There is no connecting with someone like that, this far long. They will forever cast aside anything that upsets them or does not fall in line with their vision for their world.

Take her for example, if you didn't follow hand and foot, she flipped. Became a totally different person. Depending on the situation of course. Sometimes she needed to act the victim, other times she had to take the up front approach. She is what people like him become. Actors. Denying ones own reality to mold and shape a pseudo perfect one, all for the sake of comfort. Normalcy, complacency, and selfishness. talk2hand