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It's hard
It's hard to get not to get obsessed over something. I have so few friends <only 1 that I talk to regularly> and I've started talking to someone else who I really like as well, but when he's on elsewhere and not showing up on my buddy list, I tend to think that I'm being blocked and that he hates me for some awful reason. SOmetimes I just get so obsessed, that I want to be cruel and throw everything he's told me back in his face, or be horribly mean. SOmetimes I just want to be stand-offish and make him come to me so that I don't seem eager or like an attention whore. But it's hard because I rarely talk to anyone and I know that my keeping friendships has dwindled the past few years. My shortest friendship has been one week and my longest has been 10 years. I don't have my long time friend anymore. And when I lose friends, I tend to have a 9 month gap between when I actually talk to someone and then I have to start all over again. So I do tend to hold myself back every single time, because I know my friendships never last and the average now is 1 year.
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