Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
User Image
Don't cry to me; if you loved me you would be here with me.
"Don't cry to me; if you loved me you would be here with me. If you want me, come find me. Make up your mind...."

Not many people will know those lyrics so soon, but I find myself typing them out constantly lately as well as singing them because lately, that is how I have been feeling.
Ryan and I got into our first fight last week...and for some reason I can feel another one coming up already. I feel....dejected, rejected, moody, jealous, etc. And all because of my new friend Katelyn.

Don't get me wrong, I love this girl to death. She is so cool and there for me...but she's caused more than one rift between Ryan and I. It really sucks, because it HURTS to be jealous of my friends....especially when it comes to my boyfriend. But I still keep introducing him to my friends....and it's like this everytime. It's like his mind turns on a sensor that says "FRESH MEAT".
I love every part of Ryan...he knows that, but this s**t hurts. I'm not ready to be in another relationship that leaves me constantly in pain. I've already done that once this year, and I am NOT doing it again. It just feels like it's the same s**t, different day, different girl. That is honestly and truly how I feel!!! But of course, I can't tell him this because I'd just be "overreacting again".
I am NOT overreacting with how I feel. He just doesn't ******** get what issues I have and how the things he does affect him. He knew I have a boatload of issues when we MET. And 10 months later they've disappeared? I don't ******** think so. He's so ******** DENSE that I can't stand it!!!!
Right now, I'm seriously just about to give up....and anyone that knows me also knows that that is not my style. I don't give up, but right now I'm seriously contemplating it. Just being like "******** it and ******** you. This isn't worth it." but in the end....isn't happiness worth it? I don't know anymore...I thought he made me happier than I've ever been but lately....lately I haven't been so happy.
I mean, it could just be mood swings....being angry cuz I haven't had my period yet this month and it's over 2 weeks late, sick of being alone, etc.....but a part of me thinks it's more than that. *shrugs*

All I know is that I can't do this anymore. Something HAS to change. So, to whoever reads this (though I doubt anybody will), what do you think I should do? I need advice.


TanyaDawn
Community Member
  • [09/29/10 04:09am]
  • [02/13/09 10:05am]
  • [02/03/09 08:27pm]
  • [03/24/08 08:46pm]
  • [07/14/07 09:06pm]
  • [05/16/07 12:23am]
  • [12/20/06 11:23pm]
  • [11/24/06 02:35am]
  • [11/16/06 04:54am]
  • [10/17/06 04:35am]


  • User Comments: [3]
    I think you should eat crackers, ice cream, and watch cartoons. Seriously. heart

    comment Magical Fairy Vomit · Community Member · Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 12:37am
    I know how you feel. Well, maybe not precisely all things considered in your circumstance, but my Ryan has done a lot of the same, remember? Remember your advice to me? Slap him. xD

    Or. My advice - talk to him. Sit him down and say, "Look. You may think I'm overreacting and I don't care anymore. I need to tell you this as much as I need to know that you love me every day." or something that he knows you absolutely do need to hear or see each day. Then lay it all out for him, very simply.

    Then afterwards, tell him you love him but you can't be the "other girl" and you can't be second best. You either are his or you're gone.

    And talk to his mom. She likes you and she sounds compassionate enough. Just explain it to her and ask for her advice. I honestly think she would be the best person to go to for advice on her son. And considering what she was willing to do for you - I think she deserves the respect you'd be giving her by being honest.

    comment lanimari · Community Member · Wed Aug 02, 2006 @ 01:36am
    Wow! I didn't know that all this was going on and I am really sorry for it but I dont think that I should be one to give advice since I haven't had a boyfriend in such a long time.... but what Loki Saimar said sounds good if you ask me... Tanya you are like my best friend and I know we have had our differences in the past but I feel that over this last school year and summer we have became close so if you ever need anything like, oh say a shoulder to cry on... you know I will be there for you... you are an amaizing girl and I swear if I were bi/gay you would be the one I would want to be with... so girl you are a beautiful person and if he cant see that thats his problem....

    much love,
    heart Sam heart

    comment Thorns of the Past · Community Member · Sat Sep 02, 2006 @ 03:40am
    User Comments: [3]

     
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Mini-Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum