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I hate to sound like a shallow and pathetic sob-case, but I guess that under these circumstances, it can't be avoided. I feel as if my life is falling apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it. He is the one thing that I live and breathe for, and he is so many miles away. I know that it seems stupid to babble on about him this way when he will be home in about 3 weeks. But, I just can't help myself. I feel so lost without him. I cry myself to sleep every night and wonder if he still feels about me the same way he did 2 and a half months ago. It's so hard to bring yourself to terms with the fact that the one person that you would go to the ends of the earth for isn't there to hold you in their arms and tell you that everything will be okay. I do believe that this has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life, even if I've only dealt with 17 years of it. This has been the worst case of reality-shock that I have ever had and it only seems to progressively worsen as the days go by. I've had so much time to think. In truth, time is all I have had anything of these past few months. Everything seems so cold and grey, like everything that posessed any sort of meaning is furthering itself from my existance. Nothing seems to matter any more, with the exception of one thing and one thing alone. My mind swims around his date of return. And as my mind swims, it begins to realize that the water is too deep to stop and touch bottom. So, instead it tries to carry on with everyday life while struggling to keep afloat, to maintain some form of sanity. But, you can only swim for so long before you begin to slowly drown.