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It seems whenever I put on a "rare" item, or tell someone my gold tally, inevitably at least one person says they envy me. I found that a little weird, honestly. They're just items, not eternal happiness or inner peace.

So I've decided to make a list of people or situations I envy.

I envy you if:
You've ever gone a day without being in crippling pain.

You've never had to make a descision that hurt someone you loved.

You've never been betrayed by a friend.

You've never had to worry about who is going to pay next month's bills.

Your father's never had life-threatening surgery.

You've never had to ride with him in an ambulance, watching people stick tubes and nodules in and on him.

Your mother's never been laid off for being "redundant".

You've never watched a loved one die.

You've never experienced a migraine that left you blind for three days.

You've never been abused sexually by someone you thought actually cared.

So please, next time you think someone's so goddamned lucky for having cutesy pixellated thingamabobs or a whole poopload of internet currency, take a moment to think about all the good things you do have.