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Ooh, yea! Blindly enjoying pain and mistaking it for love IS fun, isn't it?

I realize that I've caused a lot of people pain over the years, and in turn have gotten my share back. It's really not fun. But the stupidist thing I've ever done is sat around for over six months and let the person I loved hurt me, not even realizing that what they were doing was causing me pain. Her pain was the only affection she ever showed me, and I thought it was love. But it wasn't. She was finding a willing outlet for her anger, and I was stupid enough to let her do it, thinking she didn't know the difference.
Before she left, I thought living without her would kill me. I didn't think I could do it. And when she left, I was devestated, but it didn't hurt as badly as I thought it would. I cried a little, yes, and it hurt, but I lived. It took my 10 days- 10 DAYS- to get over her. In those 10 days, I realized that she wasn't good for me, and that her pain wasn't something I needed. Now, for the first time in a year, I'm...happy. Life is beautiful again. Sure, it has its moments, but I love life now, and I know that I need no one but myself to survive.
But really...what stupidity to let her bring me down for six months when I could have been so happy in that time!
((This is, by the way, the reason for my profile changing...))