Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well im kinda getting use to the fact im having blackouts but... well its making me depressed and i have noticed that im really effecting the people around
again i cant remember whats completely affecting me at this moments and time and the few things i do upset me to a large extent... Since this whole outburst of being upset ive written more poems then i have in one year... meaning theres a lot.. soooo i think ill share some.

This was a class assignment...

I am Peom

Im from the "only hit once"
to "you're supose to be a boy"
from the apple trr out front
to the hand-me-down toys

Im the dusted over books
and old video tapes
the beautiful forest
and broken down streets

from macaroni and cheese
to the spagetti plate
im from the blanket forts
held down with weights

from the oil stained smell
mixed with dirt and flowers
im the old beat up car
and broken down towers

Im from the Norris and Harvells
the hawiian and native
the pain of a kiss
and the" Never be Faded."

Im sorry

i didnt mean to say it
i know sorry isnt enough
im trying to be quiet
im trying to be tough
i know its not the right thing
but crying may make it worse
so i need to hold it all inside
even if im about to burst
I hope you can forgive me
i said soem stupid things
but the way that you are treating me
is causing tears, thats all it brings
please dont turn away
please dont cause me to cry
cause the way that this is going
in the end i know ill die

Separated

My head is spinning
while i break my tears
i cant show my weakness
i cant show my fears
if i show how i feel
it wont just go away
cause if i show my heart
i will die this very day
you have one side
he has the other
please take care of my heart
and dont act like my brother
loves supose to be pleasent
but i tell you its not
ill never take you
for fear of being caught
this is quite sad
im noy sure i can bare
your eyes are watching me
in a ever loving stare
what do i do
waht do i say
i want to live
but may die this day


Yah a lot of death.. i dont mean pyshically dying though.. my heart is dying....