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...I hate my self so bad....everything is my fault, everything that has ever happen to my famly...
Because of me my dad started smoking... and now he ...he had lung cancer...and ...I couldent speak at his funaral...I couldent say anything for my father's good buy...then my mother got angry...after that day everything i did made her cry everything I did. The last thing I said to her was I hate this family... and ... that night,...she killed her self. It was all my fault... It was all because of me... now my brother is suicidal....adn we arnt even in the same home...i barly ever get a chance to call him and my faoster mom sucks...she dosn't care at all about me or Rachel...then the other girl that she adors and loves as her own (Jasmin) hates me adn keeps telling me that my faoster mom only took me in because she need someone else to do the chores... I wish I could die so bad...I hate everything about myself... I wish that i were in a worse home...what am I doing...this isn't doing anything...like some one is going to come and make it all go away....
I'm alone...I'm forgoten and alone and I hope god will send me to hell so I can fee that every one that I hurt can be relived,... I love my parents..I loved bothe of them so much...and I never really knew how bad I made their lives till...after....adn now I cant stand my self...I cant stand anything...I cant stand this unending unhappieness....
 All That I Loved Is Gone · Mon Jul 03, 2006 @ 05:56am · 0 Comments |
