Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

few things feel better
than the way your gaze did
and the way
I thought
you thought
of me

it turns out that we can be
surprised
by even the most
solid people;
we can love
and that can be
both enough
and nowhere near enough
at the same time

mountains and oceans
used to be our only obstacle
and look how far we've come
that they still are
but so are many other things
as well

how naive we were
to think that
the darkness in you
seeing the darkness in me
wouldn't end
just
like
this

who we think people are
and who people think they are
can be vastly different
and extremely surprising--
somehow I felt like
I was a priority
but I think
that means something
different to you
than it does to me

I have struggled to cry
for weeks now
even after this
my cheeks are dry
and my body is tired

and I wish
that we hadn't done this
at all
because now
I don't know who you are
or who I am to you
and for the first time
I feel like my identity
is fully
up for grabs

I've said before
that no one can hurt me
more than I can
but what I didn't say
was that
the way I'm hurt by you
is comparable