*is crying right now* You were all right. I should never have gone to Salem last Friday. Want to know why?
... I guess only one part of the conversation really says why.
Quote:
Matt: I have a question
Matt: where do you see yourself in 20 years
Matt: like, if you really think about it, what do you want out of life
Me: Thinking deeply again?
Matt: yeah
Matt: and a little inebriated
Me: Mm... at this point, I really can't tell.
Me: AH! No wonder!
Matt: but I can spell inebriated correctly
Matt: so not much
Me: I know what society expects and what my parents want, but as for myself and what I want out of life... to put it in an arbitratry manner, to be happy.
Matt: yeah
Matt: and what does that mean
Me: Very deep. Well then, to know that, if I have children, I'm able to provide for them and enable them to live comfortably. If I don't have children, knowing that I'm making a difference in what I do would be sufficient.
Matt: do you want childre
Matt: n
Matt: and you make a difference
Matt: you make me happy
Me: I'm the pessimistic one out of my friends in terms of the future. I don't see myself having children within the next 15 years, though everyone's made estimates I'll be married by the time I'm 30.
Me: Married with a child, at least.
Me: I do?
Matt: yes
Matt: you are beautiful
Matt: and the nicest I have ever met
Matt: and this is without me being controlled by what is appropriate
Matt: I am uninhibited at this poing
Matt: t
Me: I wondered about that a bit. You don't normally open up in such a manner.
Me: You're a strange one, though. I'm sure you've met many people in your life who have been nice as well.
Matt: hmmm, not as much as you
Matt: plus, you are attractive
Me: Quite a few people are. I'm actually rather average.
Matt: no, you are much more than average
Matt: trust me
Me: I question whether to trust you or not at this point precisely because you're a little inebriated
Matt: trust me
Matt: Ive thought this for awhile
Matt: maybe about actions
Matt: but I am being more honest than I normally would
Me: You seem too sober, and you -did- manage to spell "inebriated" right earlier this evening. Okay, I'll trust you on this.
Matt: I am less reserved
Matt: you are beautiful
Matt: where do you see yourself in 20 years
Matt: like, if you really think about it, what do you want out of life
Me: Thinking deeply again?
Matt: yeah
Matt: and a little inebriated
Me: Mm... at this point, I really can't tell.
Me: AH! No wonder!
Matt: but I can spell inebriated correctly
Matt: so not much
Me: I know what society expects and what my parents want, but as for myself and what I want out of life... to put it in an arbitratry manner, to be happy.
Matt: yeah
Matt: and what does that mean
Me: Very deep. Well then, to know that, if I have children, I'm able to provide for them and enable them to live comfortably. If I don't have children, knowing that I'm making a difference in what I do would be sufficient.
Matt: do you want childre
Matt: n
Matt: and you make a difference
Matt: you make me happy
Me: I'm the pessimistic one out of my friends in terms of the future. I don't see myself having children within the next 15 years, though everyone's made estimates I'll be married by the time I'm 30.
Me: Married with a child, at least.
Me: I do?
Matt: yes
Matt: you are beautiful
Matt: and the nicest I have ever met
Matt: and this is without me being controlled by what is appropriate
Matt: I am uninhibited at this poing
Matt: t
Me: I wondered about that a bit. You don't normally open up in such a manner.
Me: You're a strange one, though. I'm sure you've met many people in your life who have been nice as well.
Matt: hmmm, not as much as you
Matt: plus, you are attractive
Me: Quite a few people are. I'm actually rather average.
Matt: no, you are much more than average
Matt: trust me
Me: I question whether to trust you or not at this point precisely because you're a little inebriated
Matt: trust me
Matt: Ive thought this for awhile
Matt: maybe about actions
Matt: but I am being more honest than I normally would
Me: You seem too sober, and you -did- manage to spell "inebriated" right earlier this evening. Okay, I'll trust you on this.
Matt: I am less reserved
Matt: you are beautiful
...Believe me... it went on...
I can't take this. Consider me on break from the internet and Gaia.
EDIT: Just an addition to that other part of the conversation... the final parts that are tearing me apart and making me question everything I thought I knew...
Quote:
Matt: your christmas present is going to be my poetry
Matt: in a book
Matt: Ive ever let anyone see it
Me: Something tells me you should hang onto that through college, just to see what you end up writing.
Matt: maybe
Matt: my dream has always been to be a musician
Matt: is that an ok present
Matt: ?
Me: It would be a beautiful one
Matt: good
Matt: I need to be beautiful
Matt: I want to make a mark on history
Matt: but I feel like Ill die young
Matt: I dunno
Matt: maybe not
Me: That would be sad...
Matt: based on what you say, I want to try to live a long time
Matt: it would be oog
Matt: good
Matt: I just feel like I should burn bright and fade
Matt: aybe not
Me: ...Wait. How does what I've said make you want to try and live a long time? Aren't you the pessimistic one between the two of us?
Matt: yes
Matt: but you make me think I should liv e
Matt: you tell me Im good despite me being an asshold
Matt: and in almost every way worthy of you just shootimg me in the head and being done with it
Me: Ah.. in my world view, everyone's good despite their mistakes in the past.
Matt: I know
Matt: its one of the things that makes you so beautiful
Matt: you're such agood person
Me: And you should stop being so pessimistic about life. Life's only as good as you make it, after all.
Matt: Im not pessimistic about lifge
Matt: I think life is great, me
Matt: I just question other people
Matt: Im afraid to commit myself
Matt: Im starting to think I could transcend that though
Me: I think you can.
Matt: thank you
Me: There's nothing holding you back except yourself.
Matt: Im not holding back
Matt: I just got scared of you
Matt: because youre so good
Matt: in a book
Matt: Ive ever let anyone see it
Me: Something tells me you should hang onto that through college, just to see what you end up writing.
Matt: maybe
Matt: my dream has always been to be a musician
Matt: is that an ok present
Matt: ?
Me: It would be a beautiful one
Matt: good
Matt: I need to be beautiful
Matt: I want to make a mark on history
Matt: but I feel like Ill die young
Matt: I dunno
Matt: maybe not
Me: That would be sad...
Matt: based on what you say, I want to try to live a long time
Matt: it would be oog
Matt: good
Matt: I just feel like I should burn bright and fade
Matt: aybe not
Me: ...Wait. How does what I've said make you want to try and live a long time? Aren't you the pessimistic one between the two of us?
Matt: yes
Matt: but you make me think I should liv e
Matt: you tell me Im good despite me being an asshold
Matt: and in almost every way worthy of you just shootimg me in the head and being done with it
Me: Ah.. in my world view, everyone's good despite their mistakes in the past.
Matt: I know
Matt: its one of the things that makes you so beautiful
Matt: you're such agood person
Me: And you should stop being so pessimistic about life. Life's only as good as you make it, after all.
Matt: Im not pessimistic about lifge
Matt: I think life is great, me
Matt: I just question other people
Matt: Im afraid to commit myself
Matt: Im starting to think I could transcend that though
Me: I think you can.
Matt: thank you
Me: There's nothing holding you back except yourself.
Matt: Im not holding back
Matt: I just got scared of you
Matt: because youre so good
Quote:
Me: Is Willamette really that closed-minded?
Matt: it is a bit
Matt: but thats not it
Matt: I just feel like you are smarter
Matt: more perceptive
Matt: a bit more attractive
Matt: it is a bit
Matt: but thats not it
Matt: I just feel like you are smarter
Matt: more perceptive
Matt: a bit more attractive
Quote:
Me: Then move on. It seems to me that all I've done is hold you back.
Matt: you havent though
Matt: youve made me realize so much
Matt: about myself
Matt: and you truly are beautiful
Matt: you havent though
Matt: youve made me realize so much
Matt: about myself
Matt: and you truly are beautiful
