Narrator: "The heroes ride, bravely into the desert. Each mime riding horses, including Noishe, while Genis beats two halves of coconuts together."
Lloyd: "Are we there yet?"
Raine: "Shuddap and mime the horse."
Colette: "Raine, the horses are growing tired."
Kratos: "Fear not, blonde one, for we are almost there. In fact, we are so almost there that we are there!"
Lloyd: "Right! Dismount!"
*They mime getting off horses*
Lloyd: "Genis, stop beating the coconuts."
*Genis beats*
Lloyd: "Stop it."
*Genis beats*
Lloyd: "Dammit, Genis! I said 'stop'!"
*Genis is killed by Lloyd, but Genis had a fairy in a jar and the fairy revived him like in Legend of Zelda*
Genis: "HA! Bet you didn't see that coming."
Lloyd: "Right."
*Noishe growls*
Kratos: "What's wrong, Scooby?"
*A battle starts, and two... things attack. They are pummeled by Lloyd and colette and we get out of the battle field*
Kratos: "You guys suck a**! OMG!"
Lloyd: "I believe we went over this."
Kratos: "Whatever. Let me teach you about Unison Attacks."
*Learned Unison attacks*
Lloyd: "Neat."
Kratos: "I'm sure."
Raine: "Look over there!"
*They walk up to a door in the ground and Raine falls onto it and rolls all over it*
Raine: "This is the fire temple..."
*As Raine goes off explaining crap, Colette and the others look a pedestal with Colette's family crest on it, with a sign that says 'Chosen, press HERE' with an arrow pointing to an engraved handprint*
Lloyd: "How 'bout... Now this is coming off the top of my head... but how 'bout you put your hand on that hand print?"
Colette: "Okies."
*Door opens up and Raine falls into the entrance from rolling all over it*
Colette: "Wow! I really am the Chosen!"
Genis: "Duh. I think we all ready know that by now."
Lloyd: "All right, Genis, shuddap."
Raine: "Ow."
Kratos: "Let's move."
*The group walks down the stairs*
Lloyd: "Hey where do we go?"
Raine: "Wait... There's a box over there...."
*They see a box that has teeth and feet, it growls at them*
Genis: "Let's open it."
*The box bites Genis*
Genis: "Ow."
*Kratos gives it a good kick and the box falls on its side and cannot get up*
Kratos: "Let's go."
Raine: "So what we need to do is, match the light things so that the platform rise and lead us to the portal."
Kratos: "Or we can take the stairs."
*Raine slaps Kratos, and the gang go through a completely unnecessary series of platforms until they reach the portal*
Raine: "That wasn't so hard."
Kratos: "We wasted a good 20 minutes... but whatever."
Genis: "Let's save first."
Colette: "Hehe... what?"
Genis: "I'm done. Now we can go."
*Kratos leans to Raine*
Kratos: "The brat's crazy."
Raine: "You should see him when he's near death, claiming to restore his 'HP'."
Kratos: "You half-elves are messed up."
Raine: "We're elves, really."
Kratos: "And I'm Rodney Dangerfield, come back to life."
Raine: "Do the bit about how you hate yourself, Mr. Dangerfield."
*Kratos looks at Raine for a few seconds and then slaps her*
Lloyd: "Let's go, people."
*The gang go into the portal and teleport to another room.*
Kratos: "Now go pray, blonde one."
*Before Colette can pray, a giant dog and two puppies attack, Kratos offers Genis as bait and throws him to the other side of the room, where the dogs start biting him*
Lloyd: "Kratos! Our hero!"
Kratos: "I kick so much a**."
*The dogs realize Genis is a pathetic little boy and look at Kratos, menacingly, and walk away*
Raine: "Well that was easy."
Colette: "My shirt's white."
*Raine kicks Colette onto the platform and Colette prays to Martel, a familiar light appears and Remiel floats down*
Remiel: "Oy, let me get into character........ Okay, I'm good. O Chosen of Mana, you have released the seal of fire. And in case you hadn't noticed the silhouette of Efreet is behind me. So when you meet a Summoner, come back here and form a pact with this lug. Journey now to the temple of Water and release the seal. I'll wait for you there. Hey, can I give her her wings now, Kratos?"
Kratos: "Wha? Oh.... Sure."
*Kratos jerks his head in the other people's direction and mouths to Remiel "I will kill you!"*
Remiel: "Uh... consider this a gift from Cruxis."
*A light shines on Collete and Collete grows wings*
Colette: "Ow, that was painfull. GOSH, what the hell is on me now? Holy crap! Get them off me! Get them off! Oh... They're wings. Cool. Thanks... Dad."
Remiel: "No problem, Ironing Board."
Colette: "What?"
Remiel: "...Daughter... Bye now!"
*Remiel disappears and Genis starts feeling Colette's wings*
Genis: "These are cool. I wonder what-"
Narrator: "COLETTE LEARNED ANGEL FEATHERS!!!!!"
Genis: "Uh... I wonder what you can do with them."
Colette: "Fly and put them away.... That's all."
Kratos: "Aren't they great? I love mine."
Lloyd: "Say again?"
Kratos: "... If I had a pair...."
Lloyd: "Okay.... Anyways, let's get outta here."
*The group walks out of the temple and Colette trips*
Raine: "Colette tripped. It was a real one two!"
Colette: "I don't feel too hot."
Kratos: "Nothing like excersise to cure a sickness, that's what I always say."
Colette: "I think I'll pass out."
Kratos: "No you won't. Let's get back to town."
Colette: "I wanna camp HERE.... NOW!"
Lloyd: "O... K..."
Narrator: "The group camps and Colette is fine and was over reacting. They wake up the next morning and set off to the water temple! Look forward to the next chapter. You will meet the sexiest ninja EVER! MWAHAHAHA!"
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