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I have finally discovered why the people at my school walk so incredibly slow. There are several obvious reasons. First is the fact that their shoes are tied, if that word is applicable, so loose that the poor little mounds of white fabric stuff are on the verge of falling off. If they walk too fast they lose their shoes. Also, the boys wear their pants with the crotch sagging below their knees. This causes them to have to walk as though they were wearing shackles. As we all surely know, shackles were used so prisoners couldn't travel fast enough to escape their captors. For the female students of my school, their pants are so tight that they must have trouble moving their legs for fear of splitting the seams of their stone washed denim. I feel so intelligent.