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Alrighty, well i know in my last entry i said that tyhere wasnt really any point in writting here because Effi totally pzones mes entries. But the thought occurs to me: If Effi does all the rants what does SHE get to read? Therefore this entry is semi for her benefit and semi because i need to blurt out all my oppinions on recent massive events.

Alright here it comes wether you like it or not, my oppinions!

Okay so this weekend past was both a good one and a horrible brain implosion of a failure. For you see a certain friend of mine has had her heart set on a certain guy. Now using the metaphor "building the cheese" we slowly built up my good buddy's confidence and such untill she could get it all up and over with and ask him out. Now I'm gonna lay down a few things here:

1) I thought she had a good chance with this guy
2) I was completely against forcing her into asking him out as soon as possible.
3) I was all for her asking him out and such because I didnt want the What Ifs to nag at her insides till someone else snagged him.

Final situation: she asked him out, he said no and in a completely ungraceful manner so i'm told. I am of two sides for this one, it is really hard to be in the middle of two friends because then if you hafta pick sides it hurts (even though i side with my buddy and not him if i had to choose) But the thing is i think he was an a*****e and an idiot and completely untactfull and it's completely horrible what came of it. The extreme sad that stems from rejection is not in any wy cool. However in his defence there is nothing anyone can say other then 'yes' that wouldn't completely shatter the person asking. In the end i don't think it wulda killed him to say something other then "well...um...i don't know you very well". But it's not a good idea to pretend to like someone because they will just get hurt more dans la fin (I've got experiance with that second one).

Yes ladies and gents it was a weekend of rejection. For my other friend, this one a guy, was dumped by his girlfriend of roughly 3ish weeks (the exact time frame is unknown). the gf, also my friend explained that she had nothing against him but that the distance hurt their relationship, she found him kind of clingy and didnt wanna keep the relationship going and then end uo cheating on him, which in theory would hurt him much more then just breaking up with him. I agree with her side that if the relationship was doomed from the beginning you shouldn't drag it on. But i also feel really bad for my friend, who is now feeling rather sad and has a really low self-esteem to begin with as all of his past relationships have been less then successful and full of happy. Being in the middle hurts like hell. stressed

And then there's another friend, her mum is sick and going on heavy treatments for it. This is major stuff and i know it hurts her inside a lot. But i'm not quite sure how to act in that situation. I wanna be a good supportive friend, and if she needs me i will always be there for her if she needs to talk. But in the meanwhile, i dont really know what to say, because i refuse to smother her with pity and 'omg your mum is sick thats so terribles' s because i know she doesnt want that, and i probably wouldn't either were i in that situation.

And i'm sure there are problems in the lives of my other friends that they choose to hide from me or just think to small and trivial to put out in the open.

And then there's my own life. If you cut it off from the influence of my friends problems and issues; my life is freaking awesome. I have been having a steady climb in the happy-o-meter, but the thing is a major chunk of my life is wether or not my friends are happy and the fact that they aren't makes me really sad. The thing i hate the most (one could possibly call it a pet peeve) is when my friends have a problem and there doesn't seem to be anything i can do to improve upon it. My friend who got rejected? Other then moral support and hugs (which i attempt to give daily) there isnt anything i can do to fix that! My other friend who got dumped? Again, hugs and listening to his problems are about the only thing i got. I love my friends all very much and the fact that is that when there's is absolutely nothing productive i can do to fix that i get thus huge ball of frustration in my chest and it's all i can do to run down the street screaming my lungs out because i even seem to make situations worse when i try and help the unfixable. it's just so... *facedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedesk*

Combined with my classes that all seem pointless and stupid and i do as half-a** a job that i can get away with. It's really kinda sad when your most interesting course is "Intro to Business".

there all ranted out...
But you know what? No matter how dramatic and evil the world is all i hafta do is hang with my friends for 20 minutes and all my sad and frustration gets pushed to the back of my head and i am once again happy until i hafta be by myself with my thoughts. So even though i have created this huge long rant about all the problems in my life, i really am quite happy.

Beccy 3nodding