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For a while, I thought leaving my boyfriend would be the hardest thing I could have ever done. For the longest time, I thought that we'd always stay together. That's what forever and a day meant.
I think about it now and it simply brings a smile to my face. I don't cry anymore. I just remember everything with him and I smile and try to ignore the pain. I still miss him. Sometimes I still get excited to get on the computer to talk to him, only to remember that I haven't talked to him for almost a month.
I like to imagine that he misses me just as much. That he still thinks he needs me, like I do. The thought just makes me feel a little bit better. Not because I imagine him getting frustrated like I am. It helps me to think that maybe there's a second chance for us.
As I've said before, I don't think he misses me. Or at least not as much as I do. I still think that I was just a child in his way. A couple weeks before leaving him, he turned 18.
I immedietaly became worried about the age difference. He would always tell me that being younger than him didn't bother him. I still had my insecureties even after he would convince me of this.
To this day, I still don't want to think that age was the reason he was never there, but the thought will always torture my mind.
 Piratical_Nonsense_Youkai · Thu Sep 30, 2004 @ 04:09am · 0 Comments |
