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If there is a way to just end my life right now and not have to deal with this misery of never being able to have you...then please...please just make the part of me that wants you so damn much die. I can't stand this anymore, these fights because of her and her and her. How can you lie straight faced then turn around and act like I am the best thing ever? Why. Why Brain just stop please I can't stand the way I feel anymore I can't stand the way you degrade me and make me the bad person when I am not! I'm too old for this bullshit and obviously you've already hit the to old mark. Get a clue before I end you and your bullshitting ways.