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Cynical and sin-stained
I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
My boss says some incredibly amusing things when he's on the phone with clients, or just randomly to me. Most of them make me think I work for the mob.

To wit:

To a car dealer - "How big exactly is the trunk? How many can you fit in it?"

To a man named Vinnie Gambino - "You know, that thing you told me you'd do. That thing with the stuff there."

To a contractor - "If the permit's taking too long, get your uncle Louie to go down there and bust up some kneecaps"

To me, after I'd mentioned something about a circus - "You know, all those extortionists or whatever"
Me - "Contortionists"
Him - "Yeah, sorry. That's my line of work"

To a mall manager named Fred Scalise - "Of the Boston Scalises?" (look 'em up..)

He's also said some incredibly vulgar things involving fecal matter and/or sodomy, but they're seriously so bad I can't repeat them on Gaia.

Obviously some of this is a schtick he puts on, but still...
gonk

Edit, updated June 05, 2006.

While talking about some frozen chicken breasts he bought at Costco
"Big like Dolly Parton, I swear."

While reading a postal code (Canadian equiv. to a zipcode) to someone over the phone

"H 3 B. B as in BREASTS... "


Moonblossom
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  • User Comments: [8]
    >.O;;

    It's like those jokes that backfire in the most wrong ways.

    comment Druki · Community Member · Wed Apr 19, 2006 @ 06:59pm
    Sound slike my kind of guy :3

    comment McKenzie · Community Member · Wed Apr 19, 2006 @ 07:10pm
    Kenz, he's a lazy vulgar hypocritical a**. I laugh at him so I don't end up strangling him.

    comment Moonblossom · Community Member · Wed Apr 19, 2006 @ 07:16pm
    So I saw the title for this, and before seeing a word of the actual entry, I thought of your boss, the Big Fat Paulie of the Canadian mob.

    Seriously, though...his nose?! gonk

    comment fubenkunai · Community Member · Wed Apr 19, 2006 @ 08:15pm
    Okay, scratch that then. He sounds like me XD

    comment McKenzie · Community Member · Fri Apr 21, 2006 @ 12:01pm
    Homigawd, the little text ads over your journal had a listing for "Mob: items with everything to do with the mob." I know these things pull words from the stuff on the page, but that just cracked me up. xd

    comment fubenkunai · Community Member · Fri Apr 21, 2006 @ 08:37pm
    rofl

    comment Kokoryta · Community Member · Sat Apr 22, 2006 @ 12:32am
    Quote:
    To a man named Vinnie Gambino - "You know, that thing you told me you'd do. That thing with the stuff there."


    There is some poor sap with an brand new pair of cement shoes after that conversation.

    comment Maridah · Community Member · Sat Apr 22, 2006 @ 03:05pm
    User Comments: [8]

     
     
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