When I'm up, I'm happy, hyper, random crazy. I feel like I'm on the tippy-top of the world, the things I say, the things I feel are so positive and light, if I write, the writing is happy, it's nice, good things happen.
When I'm down, I'm moody and get angry easier, I start to feel insecure and become neurotic and paranoid and weird. My mind goes all dark and my thoughts follow into the darkness. My writing takes a walk down the dark side too...
Did I always used to be this way?I don't remember now.
What happened to that happy girl that I always used to be? She's dead, my darker thoughts answer....they slowly killed her.
Words and actions....
Freak
Nerd
Loser
Wooden Leg
Shotgun Leg
Leaving without a single word
Loser
FREAK
ugly
Thinking that calling every now and then makes it okay.
Thoughts...
What if I did it?
What if i just disappeared
It would be so easy to run away into the blackness
I choose to walk away before they can leave....before I get hurt
I can't do it anymore. I can't wait around for things to change, I'm not a little kid anymore; I know nothing will change, he'll never change. I can't keep getting my hopes up, having expectations when I'm always let down, when my expectations don't get met.
I just don't understand...if you want to see me why can't you ask me yourself? Why go through her? Do you even want to see me...wait no, of course you don't. You never really did then so why would that change now?
I told you I was done and I meant it.
But I didn't burn the bridge, it was already on fire when I crossed it.
I didn't slam the door close, it was already shutting when I finally walked through it.
I'm not your little girl anymore. She's dead. You killed her.
Aura Wintergreen Community Member 
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