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An article in today's newspaper (Seattle Post-Intelligencer or some crazy name like that. o_O) caught my eye, which is especially odd because I don't normally read the newspaper. Anyway, it was about letting go of friendships that just aren't working any more, and they had these little checklists taken from Jan Yager's book, "When Friendship Hurts, How To Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon or Wound You," and I thought I'd share.

Warning Signs of a Bad Friendship

[] Jealousy is rampant.
[] Competitiveness is excessive.
[] Secrets are shared without permission outside the friendship.
[] Borrowed money or items are not returned.
[] Promises are broken.
[] Poor excuses are offered for failing to get together.
[] One or both friends brag to others about the friendship for opportunistic reasons.
[] The friendship is rigid and inflexible with attempts to maintain status quo despite predictable and normal shifts or changes that make new demands on each friend.
[] The friendship is a low priority.
[] Conversations are strained or unpleasant.
[] Even if you once had fun with your friend, it's now a relationship of duty rather than enjoyment.
[] The sharing of activities, emotional support or confidences is rare or one-sided.
[] The relationship is unequal.

Signs of a Good Friendship

[] You like or love each other.
[] You have fun together.
[] You share confidences, activities, talking or emotional support.
[] Trust, honesty and loyalty are expected.
[] There is little or no jealousy.
[] Contact is as frequent as both need or want.
[] Confidences are kept.
[] Gossip is non-existent or extremely rare.
[] Friends are not used or put in compromising positions.
[] Promises are kept.
[] Borrowed items are returned.
[] Honesty is essential but not misused for hurtful reasons.
[] The friendship is flexible, changing as situations or needs change or shift for one or both friends because of school, career or personal reasons.

I also feel I should add another little excerpt from the article: Friendship is hard work, but sometimes you can live with a friend's negative personality traits if you know how to deal with them.

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